"Yes, but what is a white elephant, exactly?" Maeve asked. She was holding the parchment holiday party invitation in one hand, the envelope in the other. "Aren't all gifts surprises? How is this different?"

"Because you don't know who you are getting it for, or who is giving it," Kaelin tried to explain. "And it can be literally anything. A candle, candy, money, salt lick, half-eaten sandwich, anything."

"Why would anyone give a half-eaten sandwich as a gift?"

"Because they forgot that it was the class gift exchange?"

"Then they have very poor manners," Maeve said crisply, folding the letter and setting it on her desk.

A few days later, the sisters showed up on the steps of the Mansion. Kaelin looked around, breathing the crisp air and hoping for snow. It was almost cold enough. Maybe, just maybe. 

"Who are you looking forward to seeing most?" Maeve asked, her hand resting on the door handle. Kaelin ran up the steps and grinned.

"Grace!" She exclaimed. "...and Mel."

Maeve chuckled and opened the door. The two looked around as they hung up their coats. Maeve set down two wrapped boxes, each a mysterious "white elephant" gift for...someone. Who, exactly, would be left to fate.

~~

Small Silver Box with Blue Ribbon

Big Blue Box with Silver Ribbon

At just about that time, a black limousine pulled up to the mansion. The motorcar was wrapped in a garish display of Christmas lights that would have been more fitting in an evening holiday parade. A saxophone-heavy version of “Jingle Bells” was blaring from two loudspeakers attached to the top of the vehicle. The automobile eased to a halt and its passenger stepped out: A tall, young, southern gentleman who apparently never learned the rule about wearing white after Labor Day.

“No snow this year. That’s too bad. Maybe I’ll call my guys and they can send up a few fan guns from our ski resort.” He said this partly because he thought a Christmas party needed snow, and partly because he wanted to make this gathering more magical and perfect than ever, in an effort to make up for the fiasco he inadvertently caused last year. Yes, this year would be different.

He burst through the main door, making his entrance with gusto and flair. (One might say he came into the room “joyful” and “triumphant.”)

“Greetings to everybody and many happy returns of the season!” He said this in a tone too loud for the number of occupants that currently inhabited the room. He was obviously expecting the party to be in full swing before he arrived. “Huh. This may be the first time I’ve actually arrived fashionably early.” He took off his gloves, both monogrammed “JG,” and placed them in his coat pocket while taking an envelope out from it. He then took off his coat and placed it on a coat rack by the door. A faint pine scent was now detectable, evidently emanating from the visitor. He sauntered in and placed the envelope on the table so that the gold-lettered calligraphy was visible: “To Whom It May Concern.”

Sergeant Jeffery Evans, Officer of the Peace, and frequent customer of JJ's Donut shop, was walking his beat, coffee in one hand, a pink box of delicious fried dough in his other. It was a beautiful winter day in Ditto Town, the sun was shining and the town was mostly quiet. That's when he felt a small cylindrical object poke him in the square in the small of the back. 

"Don't move you move officer; and nobody get's hurt."

Jeff chucked, spun around and kicked the pen out of Ainsley's outstretched hand. 

"Don't you know it's a felony to threaten a cop?" He asked, a half cocked smile hidden beneath his handlebar mustache. 

"Aww, did I scare you Jeffy?" Ainsley replied, ruffling his snowflaked hair. 

"Nah, but if you had, and I spilt my coffee, we woulda had problems. Watcha yah get me?" He asked, gesturing with his coffee towards the bags Ainsley was holding. 

"These ain't for you, the Mansion's holdin' a white elephant party tonight, so I done swung by the thrift shop and picked up two-tree things."

"I suppose that means I'm coming too, huh?"

Ainsley held up one of her fabric shopping bags, "you had better, seeing as how I bought us matching sweaters." 

"Seems as if I have no choice in the matter."

"You've got that right, when do you clock out?"

"Same time as always, what time does the party kick off?" 

"'Bout 15 minutes post."

"Tell you what, take these donuts, give me the sweater, and I'll meet you there."

"Sounds like a date." Ainsley said, kissing Jeff on the cheek and swapping her bag for his box. 

Later that day, in the parking lot of the Mansion. 

"Hey there handsome." Ainsley said as Jeff opened the door to her SUV. 

"This isn't a sweater."

Jeffery was right, it wasn't a sweater. It was a perfectly fitted navy blue suit, a maroon tie, and a white dress shirt. 

Ainsley took Jeff's hand and stepped out of her truck.

 "In my defense, I found this really cute dress and I couldn't resist." 

Jeff gave his girl a once over, she was adorned in a maroon mini dress, with a navy blue shawl draped around her shoulders. 

"Well it's certainly cute."

"Oh don't forget your donuts." Ainsley said, handing Jeff the pink box, and grabbing two neatly wrapped presents out of her back seat. 

The couple walked arm in arm up the steps of the Mansion, arriving just in time to have their eardrums burst by JG's bellowing southern drawl. They themselves made no such declaration and simply deposited their gifts on the collection table. Having done that, they awkwardly scanned the room for some folks they recognized, settling upon Maeve and Kaelin. 

"Long time no see, how have you two been?" Asked Ainsley as they approached. 

((MA, I'm assuming this is Junior? If not, let me know and I'll edit.))

The sisters had barely walked through the entryway when the first strains of the Christmas Jukebox Car reached their ears, inspiring Kaelin to dart to the window.

"Ooh, fancy!" she exclaimed. "That's enough to light up the town."

"Who is it?" Maeve asked, disinclined to peer out the window herself. 

"It's Mr. Cruise-Ship-Rich-Pants-Dude."

"Mr. Gladstone."

"Mr. Cruise-Ship-Rich-Pants-Dude."

"If anyone else hears you call him that I'll--" but Maeve's threat was interrupted by the entry of Junior Gladstone himself. Kaelin let out a small yelp and retreated quickly to the safety net of the area behind her sister.

“Huh. This may be the first time I’ve actually arrived fashionably early.”

"It does seem everyone in Ditto Town runs on their own timetable," Maeve said cheerily. "Happy Holidays to you, Mr. Gladstone."

Short on Junior's heels came more familiar faces: Jeff and Ainsley.

"Miss Ainsley!" Kaelin exclaimed, wrapping her arms around the young woman's waist. "It's been forever."

"Why are we walking, again?" Ian asked. He looked very festive, in his fluffy sweater patterned with reindeer and Santa heads and decorated Christmas trees, his elf hat put on a jaunty tilt, and his bright red scarf. The last muffled his voice a little bit.

"It's only a few blocks," Lauren replied. In her black pencil skirt, double-breasted white coat with gold buttons, and much smaller blue scarf, she looked like she was going to a very different kind of party than her companion.

"I know that," Ian said. He pointed to the Mansion. "Even I couldn't get lost at this point. What I asked was 'why'."

At the words, "get lost", Lauren scowled. "Don't jinx it. And ... we could use the fresh air."

Ian opened his mouth, but before he could put one of his boots into it (metaphorically), they saw a limousine decked out like a holiday float blaring "Jingle Bells" from a pair of loudspeakers attached pull up to the Mansion.

"That's so tacky," Lauren said.

"I gotta get me one of those!" Ian said at the same time.

Lauren glared at him. Ian glanced away awkwardly, and coughed.

The two walked into the Mansion. Lauren turned to Ian and traded her coat for the gift he had tucked under his arm. She looked at the little box curiously. "Do I want to know what you put in here?"

"Probably not," Ian said cheerily.

Lauren scowled at him, but Ian had already gone looking for a place to hang her coat. So instead she placed Ian's gift and hers -- a gift bag -- on the designated table.

"Miss Kaelin!" Ainsley responded with an equal amount of ethusiasim, returning the child's hug before crouching down to get on eye level with the young girl. 

"How have you been sweetheart?" 

Jeff set his box down and extended his right hand in the direction of Maeve. 

"Good to see you again."

Junior smiled at the greeting, for Junior Gladstone it was: Richard P. Gladstone Jr., the corporate king of cologne.

”It is nice to see you in such fine spirits, Ms. Maeve. I trust the year has been kind to you.” 

He intended to say more, but just then, Junior got a text message. He turned briefly and pulled his phone from his pocket, only to see that it was an impersonal message. -Somehow he had gotten onto a mailing list and he hadn’t unsubscribed from it yet. Someone said something while he was distracted, but it didn’t register fully. He looked back up again to see that the person he was talking to was no longer talking to him, but had turned to face two well-dressed newcomers.

”That’s okay,” he thought to himself. “I’ll just get some refreshments.”

Ian hung up Lauren's coat very carefully -- he wasn't sure how much it cost, but she would certainly tell him if he tore it or got it dirty -- then headed straight for the refreshment table. He took a mug of cider, then after a moment of consideration, took one for Lauren as well. He'd irritated her somewhat on the way over, he knew, and it would be easier for her to be in a good mood if he smoothed things over a little. 

As he turned to find Lauren, he saw a young man in white -- he looked even more formal than Lauren. Ian suddenly realized this was the man he had seen get out of the limo.

Hastily Ian tucked one of his mugs into the crook of his arm so he could offer his other hand for a shake. "Hi there! Ian Grayson. We saw your ride as we came in, and man -- I might need to make a donation to charity soon, because I know what I want to ask Santa for this year, and I don't think I've been good enough to earn a car that sweet."

"Good!" Kaelin replied cheerily. "Maeve's teaching me to throw knives. What about you? Did you go anywhere cool?"

It seemed that everyone was arriving now; scarcely had Gladstone's phone gone off, but more newcomers were through the door and filling the hall. Maeve smiled at Jeff, but held her hand up. 

"I'm afraid that I must pass on shaking your hand, so I hope you'll forgive the rudeness," she said smoothly, "but it is wonderful to see you again. How has this year been treating the Ditto Town police force?"

Somewhere up in the snowy hills above Ditto Town, a mailbox sat by itself, near a grove of evergreen trees. Someone had tied a lopsided plaid bow around the box, adding to the Christmas card atmosphere.

A shaggy Saint Bernard dog left the grove of evergreens and stood on her hind paws to open the mailbox and retrieve the invitation inside. Mel nosed it, catching the faintest hint of gingerbread spice on the paper.

"The Ditto Town Christmas party!" she barked, delighted. "Is it that time of year already?" Wagging her tail, she disappeared back into the grove of trees to read the invitation carefully. 

* * *

Mel spent hours picking the perfect gift for the White Elephant exchange. Now she carried it in a plastic shopping bag, so she wouldn't accidentally drool all over the paper wrapping. She had brushed her fur until it shone, and the white bits were soft and fluffy, and clipped an enormous Christmas bow to her collar. (It was plaid, like most of the other decorations she'd put up for herself this year.) Ears pricked, she trotted up the steps, stopping to watch the arrival of the brightly lit limousine. The music hurt her ears, but it was festive, and put a bit of extra bounce in the large dog's step.

This year, she was careful as she entered the foyer, which was decorated with trees and lights and ribbon, not wanting to go sliding all over the marble floor--at least not until she'd said hello to everyone. She saw familiar faces and friends and one of her favorite parts of the party: the table loaded with holiday desserts and treats which was located just through another set of doors in the dining room.

Mel deposited her plastic bag next to an envelope and several other presents.

Outside the Mansion, a young woman has just arrived. By her side is a large bull, holding a feedsack in his mouth.

"I'm so excited! I've never been invited to a party before!" The young woman exclaimed.

The bull snorted and dropped his sack with a slight jangle. "They're pretty boring. I suppose you might enjoy the food but I'll probably just get asked a lot of questions I don't want to answer."

"Just behave yourself. Or you can wait out here while I go in."

"No, I came all this way and I already brought a present - I’ll just pretend I can’t talk. But speaking of presents - Moira, could you tie the neck closed? Getting it in the bag was all I could manage."

Moira complied, but then fixed the bull with a suspicious gaze. "You stole this from your brother, didn't you?"

"He said to make myself at home. Besides, you got your gift from Maigret, didn't you?"

The girl shook her small cloth-wrapped bundle in the bull's face. "That's different, and you know it. Lady Maigret very graciously offered to provide the gift so I could come, as I had nothing with me."

The bull rolled his eyes. "Do you want to go in or stand here talking? I think the party has started."

For answer, Moira strode inside. The bull managed to get his head through the door behind her before it swung shut, and followed her to the gift table. She deposited their packages and looked around for their host.

Jeff immediately withdrew his hand and shoved it deep inside his pocket. "That's perfectly understandable. You never know what new and exotic bugs might be buzzin' around these parts, on account of the Fountain. Folks bring in diseases from across the universe." 

"Throwing knives eh? You'll have to show me that one day." Ainsley replied, standing back up to full height. 

"Well, let's see. Most recently I took a trip to the ruins of Cyberopolis to do some climbing. Those cyberbots must have been huge, because their homes were basically small skyscrapers. I would have loved to see one of those big fellas in person, but the place is a ghost town now. Completely abandoned, crazy amiright?" She added, stealing the box of doughnuts from Jeff's hand and opening it up. 

"Care for some diabetes?" 

Jeffery laughed. "Don't let JJ hear you disparaging his product now, he's liable to sue for defamation. Anyways; this year has been pretty quiet actually. No dwarven uprisings, no space wizard invasions. Heck, the mansion has stayed in one place for once. As years go, this one has treated the DTPD fairly well. How about you and yours?"

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ian. The name’s Gladstone, Richard P. Gladstone Jr., but folks just call me Junior. 

Now that car has an interesting story. See now, my daddy owns a resort up in the Adirondacks, and every year he likes to lighten the place up, with every piece of timber on the property shining in a blaze of electric brilliance. I tell ya, there isn’t a stick on the place that doesn’t have a light bulb attached to it. Well, with a property that pretty, it wouldn’t be fair to keep the place all to ourselves, so my daddy had this idea to attach some light bulbs to a car and ride it through the streets and invite everyone up to our place for a look-see. Well, it was the highlight of my Christmas growing up, how each year we’d bring a smile to all the onlookers when they came up to the resort for a brilliant spectacle that shone almost as bright as if the heavens had opened up right over the wood and the angels themselves were huddled together for a peek. Yep, each year the car is different, but the tradition is the same. For me, it just isn’t Christmas until I take a ride in the Christmas car.”

Here, Junior stopped to sigh, lost in the memory of a feeling. Then he inhaled sharply as he came back to the conversation. “And where are you-all from?”

Maeve smiled softly. 

"It's not so much that," she confided, "but most elementals won't shake hands or partake in unnecessary touching; too many people have modifications, whether for war, health, or decoration that mess with our 'tuning', for lack of a better word. The general thought is that it is rude to pick and choose when you shake hands, so it is better to avoid shaking hands with everyone."

"So cool!" Kaelin exclaimed, snagging a doughnut. "Maybe someday I can go and explore, just like you. Thanks. Want one, Maeve?"

"No, thank you, but I'm glad it's been a good year for you both. It's been quiet for us, but that's just as well. It seems we might be some of the more boring people around, though."

Maeve point with her chin toward Junior.

"Adirondacks? What are those?"