Weren't you lucky that I was only two hours late for movie night when due to construction work over the holidays replacing an important railway bridge, the road was closed for about a week, & we got lost whilst we meandered around the entire district on the detours indicated.

Why don't you listen to whichever Super Sally is on that great fantastic GPS gadget you were saying is so wonderful, when you got lost the other day getting to your brother's place?

Super Sally directed me to drive down a cycle path and when I went the other way, she got into a sulk saying "Recalculating... recalculating... recalculating..." (That actually happened to me once!)

Why didn't you email me about the concert instead of just posting about it on Facebook? Not everyone is on Facebook.

I forgot your email address & thought everyone else was on Facebook, Twitter or whichever.

Why didn't you realise you would be fined for washing your car on the road with so much rationed water, instead of taking it to the car wash?

Super Sally directed me to drive down a cycle path and when I went the other way, she got into a sulk saying "Recalculating... recalculating... recalculating..." (That actually happened to me once!)

Back seat driver or what?

I've been living for so long in England that I keep forgetting that some parts of the world (like where I grew up) have water restrictions.

Why were you out in the park with so many other people gathering around when we're all supposed to be doing social distancing??

When at first I took our dog to the leash free dog area in the park, I was on my own, apart from our cute collie, so why are all these people suddenly surrounding me as if I am a freak?

Why didn't you get some more dog food when you went shopping yesterday, when I put it on the shopping list?

I was shopping at the hardware store, which doesn't have dog food...

You said you'd fix the chimney flue, but the family room is still filling with smoke whenever the fire is lit.

When I tried to get a tradesman to come, to do the job, I was told that chimney flues were to be phased out to not only reduce the pollution in the atmosphere, fire risks, and wasteful over-use of timber, but also they were to be replaced by temperature-controlled reverse-cycle air conditionioning, instead.

You still haven't found the blue print used for the building of Hadrian's Wall, between England & Scotland.

It got mixed up with a batch of blue dye (woad) that was being used in a battle between the Scots and the English, and it was indecipherable!

You've only had one short walk this week, and you promised to work on a 5 mile run.

Unfortunately my daughter confined me to barracks to stop me even doing a 1 Km short walk, let alone a 5 Km walk down to the main shopping centre, even though there isn't any bushfire smoke around now.

You didn't let me know if the shortages of essentials down in the main shopping centre supermarkets has ended yet.

I'm not going to let anyone else know when the shortage of essentials has ended... I'm planning to get in there and stockpile them all for myself.

You used up about a week's worth of toilet paper in two days and they're not getting any more in at the local shops until next week.

It was for a papier mache artwork that I am doing to keep sane while I'm in lockdown, but there may be one roll left.

You've used up all the flour and baking powder with your cooking spree!

But now there's a freezer full of baked goods for the future when there's not as much time to cook.

You ignored the scheduled meeting end-time and needlessly ran over it for half an hour.

What's a half an hour in an otherwise empty room, when due to a flat battery, the clock stopped?

You forgot to stand at attention at the bottom of your driveway at 6.am Reveille for the Anzac Day Dawn Service, yesterday.

I was lying in bed, fairly straight, at that time of the day.

Why has the clock stopped at 6 a.m. ?

Because no one put batteries on the shopping list.

You ate my lunch for tomorrow.