Your wish is hereby granted... you can have cheese ravioli every other week as long as you live. Except it will be perpetually stale, as your lifetime supply will be cooked today...

I wish I could have spaghetti Bolognese every other week .

Yes, M'sieur, you can have Spaghetti Bolognaise on the menu every other week, but every this week the only choices on the menu besides Spaghetti Bolognaise are Spaghetti Marinara, Spaghetti Carbonara, and Spaghetti Primavera. A few weeks later, you will be so sick of Spaghetti anything that you will long for Gnocci, Anti pasto, risotto or any other sort of food for more variety.

I wish I didn't have to worry about paying bills.

You don't have to pay another bill again, but everything you ever did pay for i.e. electric, utilities, phone & internet doesn't work, leaving you living like back in the olden days.

I wish I could have everything I wanted from my Christmas list.

You get everything you want on your Christmas list, but then you have to return it all in order for all the givers to pay off their debts.

I wish I could stop running into spoilers for shows I'm behind on.

You've stopped running into spoilers, but only because all your favorite shows have been cancelled, and all of the episodes you've missed taken off the air and destroyed in all ways forms, and dimensions.

I wish I could do a 50 freestyle (swimming) in under 15 seconds.

You can do a 50 freestyle and can swim faster than anyone, trouble is, all the pools you'll ever go to will have no water.

I wish I could talk to animals.

Wow! What a lovely wish. In fact it is such lovely wish that you are not the only one who wants to be able to speak to animals. Marvellously, it happens for you. But there are complications. You will be occupied compiling two way translating dictionaries so that English-speaking people can understand languages like Cattish and Doggerel, not to mention Fishy talk and Bird Brain chatter for all the world to comprehend, even Scottish Gaelic-speaking sheep and cattle dogs. And what do these critters all have to say? Oh yes.

A lot of language that would be inappropriate for this site, complaining about how these creatures are treated, that's what. Not enough food when they want it, the wrong sort for their tastes, and not being allowed to do as they like. Including the freedom to wander off when so inclined.

I wish I could wiggle my nose to get housework done like Samantha in Bewitched.

Granted, you can wiggle your nose and housework gets done, but it's a bit more like Amelia Bedelia is doing the housework. But the food is good!

I wish I could hibernate for the winter.

You can hibernate in peace all winter, but you miss Christmas with your family which leaves everyone sad and missing you. Unfortunately, when you do wake up it takes you months to fully awaken and become yourself.

I wish I could buy a house and live wherever I wanted.

Congrats! Your are now able to live any where you want in any house you want. However, whenever you move in, all of the people in the surrounding 225 miles vanishes.

I wish I could get to sleep...

Finally, you do get to sleep. Deep, beautiful, relaxing sleep....The problem is, that you won't wake up when the alarm goes and you therefore miss a beautifully perfect day when everything goes right for you.

I wish I didn't have sore hands and feet.

Granted, but now you have a headache

I wish that I could see the deleted dance scene from TLTWATW in high quality

Granted, but now it's the only scene from the movie you can see.

I wish we'd have a white Christmas.

Yes, a White Christmas is now upon you - literally, with snowfalls at roof-level. It is the start of a new Ice Age which by Midsummer will have your entire country looking like Antarctica does now.

I wish for a lovely mild summer where maximum temperatures do not exceed 35 degrees Celsius.

Wish granted. But maybe our magic has a different definition of "mild". While temps do not exceed 35 degrees Celsius, they never get over -35.

I wish I could dance better.