Your cat didn't die last year... he/she just went to live somewhere else, too far away for you to visit.

(I'm trying not to be too cruel about this one, as I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Wagga — I know what it's like, having said goodbye to many pet cats and dogs over the years. But I do believe they're not gone forever and we'll see them again some day, and in the meantime, we never forget them, do we?)

I wish I could meet C.S. Lewis in person!

You do meet C.S. Lewis in person!...but you realize it was an imposter because the real one is actually in Narnia.

I wish I could be happy all the time.

Right, now you're happy all the time... including in totally inappropriate situations, like funerals.

I wish I could sleep well every night.

You can sleep well every night, but your body clock is locked into the UK time zone so when you go abroad, you're falling asleep during the day.

I wish I could play two musical instruments at the same time.

You now can do so but only with difficulty as you can play the clarinet with one hand and the Harp with the other, it doesn't quite sound the same.

I wish I owned an island.

You now own an island... a very, very small island that disappears at high tide.

I wish I could visit Narnia!

You can now visit Narnia, but only on weekends.

I wish I could visit Camelot.

Yes, you might visit Camelot, having visited the Tintagel ruins. But the time machine you found there doesn't go back in history further than the reign of Athelstan, the first king of all England.

I wish newspapers would report good news for once.

The newspapers report good news for once, but only once, and then it's back to the bad stuff again.

I wish I had superhuman strength.

You now have superhuman strength, but as you keep on inadvertently knocking down walls just by leaning on them, breaking chairs when you sit down, pulling doors off their hinges when you open them, snapping mature trees when you brush against them, etc., nobody likes to have you around.

I wish I had power over the weather.

You now have power over the weather, but it's only cold weather so now you've plunged the world into a winter wonderland; forever.

I wish I could go to Disney world for free.

You can go to Disneyworld for free, but only when it's closed.

I wish I could own a (friendly) dragon!

You own a friendly dragon, but the amount you're spending on food for it has bankrupted you.

I wish I could travel back to 1871 and meet Gilbert and Sullivan.

The wish fairy is having a bit of trouble with her hearing today, so you've just been transported back to 1971 to meet Gilbert O'Sullivan.

I wish I could automatically understand every language in the world.

Hurrah! You can understand every language in the world, but the moment you try to speak any of the languages to native speakers, they get grossly offended by your pronunciation.

I wish it would rain on Sunday, all day.