You go on the mission to Mars- but run out of fuel upon arrival, leaving you stranded.

I wish I could survive falls from great heights by being able to bounce.

Guess what? You are able to bounce and survive great heights but only to about 12 feet.

I wish I could swim around the world without getting tired.

You can swim around the world without getting tired, but that didn't prevent you from catching the flu because your body couldn't handle the temperature changes.

I wish I had a flying car.

~Wunder

You have a flying car, but it only does 0.002 miles to the gallon.

I wish I could play the piano.

You can now play the piano, but only a few bars as you need lessons to read the sheet music.

I wish I could be in one of the MMOs I play.

You have been dropped into one of the MMO's you play, but you are trapped and can't come back out.

I wish I had a swimming pool in my backyard.

~Wunder

As you wish! Your entire backyard is now a swimming pool.

I wish that we could eat any food we want and still maintain a healthy weight.

You can eat any food you want and still maintain a healthy weight, but it's a healthy weight for an elephant.

I wish I could grow a beard as long as Gandalf's.

Congratulations! your beard is longer than Gandalfs but you keep tripping over it and there maybe a habitat of squirrels living inside it.

I wish I had a Tardis.

Alakazam! You have a Tardis. Unfortunately, it has a glitch, and it'll only let you visit five minutes into the future.

I wish I never had writer's block again.

You no longer have writer's block, but now you have so many ideas in your head, you can no longer think of anything else.

I wish I had my own personal barista.

~Wunder

Yes indeed you have your own personal barista, making the most wonderful coffees, with little leaf & cockle pictures in the froth at the top. The trouble is, that having good qualifications & skill in making coffee for you, so long as he or she is agreeable to do so, does not necessarily make him or her the most congenial sort of flatmate in other respects for you to be stuck with.

I wish the Wallabies will do well in the World Rugby Union tournament in Japan.

They do very well, but fail to make it to the semi finals.

I wish my flowers in the vase would not wilt.

The flowers in your vase will never wilt- they will just attract locusts.

I wish I could shrink at will to fit inside small places.

You can now shrink at will - but growing back to normal size is another question altogether.

I wish my smartphone was genuinely smart, but without turning evil.