There are lots of this sort of thing on the website http://www.failbook.failblog.org. However, lots of them are innapropriate.

Anyway, I found this in my feed this morning. It was kind of cute.

Although I don't have a Facebook page, I hear that the Facebook status has been a creative ground for many people for a while. So I want to hear some of your favorites, some that made you smile, some that made you groan, whatever! And it doesn't necessarily have to be facebook, either. It can be any sort of "status" (like my family and I use the little message box on Windows Live Messenger for the same purpose).

I'll start out with a funny coincidence. One time, I looked at my contacts on WLM, and my best friend had something like "mmm...cake" for her "message", and, right below it, my brother had "The cake is a lie." There's NO way they could have known that or coordinated.... I love it!

I particularly despise Facebook this days. I used to have one account, but the problem is that some people misuse Facebook and tend to troll or to be offensive... So I decided to delete my account. Yes, some people can write some nonsensical stuff in their status. Others don't. I don't think anyone take your status account very seriously because many people tend to write things that have no meaning.

Oh and about the phrase "the cake is a lie", it comes from a videogame called "Portal", where the protagonists is promised "cake" as payment for her job. It happens that other employess have left messages to you were they state "the cake is a lie". And it is, because the antagonist which happens to be an onmicidal robot wants to kill you....

You can find lots of really hilarious ones if you look in the comments section on Official Facebook pages for movies and actors and singers, etc. Or other places like it. I mean, really. Some of the things they'll say.

I remember one girl who said she would watch this one kind-of-gruesome murder scene over and over. You'd think she wouldn't want to watch a scene like that, but apparently she liked it because she thought the murderer guy had beautiful wrists, and that was the only scene in which his wrists showed...

On a LOTR one, someone said they hoped to get Ian McKellan to someday do a message machine recording for them that said "HE SHALL NOT ANSWER!!!"

Here's some where I got the exact quotes --

(About a guy whose birthday is that day) --
"Why does he always look so greasy? Beady eyes... Hair that looks like it hasn't been washed in months... why does he always look so weird? His yes always look so strained too. Can't be healthy. Guy needs to chill more. Oh and happy birthday."

(About the upcoming two-part "The Hobbit: There and Back Again" movie) --
"I really, really want the first movie to be called: "The Hobbit: There""

(About one of the LOTR cast members jokingly kissing Billy Boyd) --
"Secretly, everyone wants to kiss Pippin. It's just a thing that people have."

(On RotK) --
"Movie endings are decided by Focus Groups.Everyone who thinks that Focus Groups are composed of Tolkien scholars, raise your right hand, do a little dance, trip on a rock, and fall in the Crack of Doom."

Person 1: "Does the main character die in the end?"
Person 2: "No, it turns out he has been dead the whole time."

And I think this next one is my personal favorite. There was this one person that the guy posting thought was dead, But they weren't dead. So this is what hapenned.

Guy: Rest in peace *person's name*
Other Guy: Yes, may he rest in peace. Or better yet, may he get up! And have a nice, healthy breakfast.

~Riella

I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Neverthrive is unpleased because me and Angel are unpleased SO MUCH that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased and I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angels is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Neverthrive's brain hurts because Angel is unpleased because I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that Hitcher is unpleased that Chaos is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that I am unpleased that Angel is unpleased that Chaos is unpleased that Angel is unpleased because Shovel is unpleased.

it kind of went on liek that because i sad soemthign about the shovel that we made our god was broken. we used our forum names because we were all from a forum.

hahaha, you wouldnt believe some people...

One of my favorites recently has been a radio station constantly making fun of Al gore because its been cold in Georgia this past couple of months:

Hey Al Gore. All of the ICE in the metro Atlanta area has all the schools closed. Help us Al Gore, help us!

It's STUPID COLD in the Atlanta Metro area today. 15 Gore with a high of 28 Gore. What's the GORE where you live?

Hey Al Gore, it's snowing like crazy north of Atlanta here...like crazy...call me, we need to chat!

Cant think of any other good ones right now, I will post as i think of them

I've had a few good ones in my news feed recently.

A: Night vision goggles are WAY too expensive.
B: What do you need night vision goggles for?
A: Seeing in the dark.
B: Duh, lol
A: That's what I thought.

----

C: Facebook isn't twitter. If I wanted to see hashmarks for everything, I would use twitter.
D: #Thanks
C: #Rage

I laughed for awhile about the second one.

Here's one btween me and my brother yesterday:

Me: Ok! That's the third arthropod in two days! What gives? An arachnid no less

Note to self put together a bug relocating kit next semester...

My bro: the wha?

Me: arthropod... you know insects, arachnids, centipedes

My bro: a.k.a bugs...

Me: well I guess you could say that

and then there's the countless times that I did something along the lines of this:

Me: ‎/me returns early with cold, but not frostbitten fingers, a wet, but not damaged camera, and a painful, but not fractured arm

Me: ‎- /me => I am really to used to NW chat

Me: *too

One of these days I'll learn to proofread my statuses...

this was on my cousin's friends

main post Rewind<--

replies Fast foward-->

Pause

Play

Eject

Skip

Stop...no really stop, you win

I thought this was kinda funny

Here's a couple I posted this week...I can't make it a day without making fun of Friday:

A few crazy ones that have popped up (I love Facebook ):

"I feel like a woman today" -one of my GUY friends

"Mike attended the event Mukluk, Camuk, or whatever they're called BURNING!" -my brother

"had to drive to edina today to check my bodily fluids for DRUGS!" -my brother again

"drove home after HOCKEY with the door ajar. Had a cord to hold it shut but it still swung open sometimes " -again, my little bro

"‎200 channels and I'm watching Mexican soap operas" -another friend

Lots of funnies, I guess mostly from my brother lol

I love Facebook. for the most part, it is awesome. but then there's those weird apps that people use. ugh.
I don't use apps.

I normally post things that make sense, but sometimes I will post some song lyric or movie quote.

Here are some of mine:

"I went to [state capitol] without an adult for the very first time today. I didn't turn the wrong way onto any one-way streets while I was there. The feeling that comes with that accomplishment is similar to the feeling associated with pull-through parking spaces. Oh, the simple pleasures in life."

"Chapter 10 of Les Misérables is called, "In Which is Explained How Javert Lost the Game." " I am a cruel person.

"'When you're babysitting your own siblings you're like, "Shut up or I'm going to shoot you in the butt with a nerf gun!!" When you're babysitting strangers you're like, "Please be quiet."'"

"Congratulations to all the couples getting engaged! May you live a long happy togetherness and may you never have a child like me."

"Please post this in your status if you know someone who has been eaten by a dragon! Dragons are near unstoppable, they breathe fire. 93% of the people who read this do not believe that dragons exist. 6% of the people are hiding in their showers armed with fire extinguishers. The remaining 1% will repost this and warn their friends. This is my cry: to your showers, friends!" One of those chain statuses, I modified it a little before I posted.

"Today I went to the ... Zoo where peacocks wander around unattended and scare innocent picnic-ers senseless."

"is watching Psych. 'Oh, Guster! When a man asks you to bite down on his big toe, you bite down on his big toe!'"

"Today I got two candy bars for the price of one. Thanks for the surprise, Yo Vending Machine."

"I made cinnamon syrup with [little sister]'s assistance today. It went great with the (practically perfect in every way) pancakes I made. I am so proud of myself...and [little sister], too, of course."

I post song lyrics occasionally. Usually just a line or two of whatever is running through my head.

Hah one of my friends got that chain status about dragons It wasn't your modified version though

"Today [major highway leading to major city] was full of three different types of drivers.
A. Drivers who think that their mirrors are for cosmetic purposes only.
B. Malicious drivers with very dark thoughts.
C. Innocent drivers. Bless them."