We decided to provide a free pencil to every customer who was willing to try the Mock Turtle soup, to note on their accompanying serviettes, their impression of genuine retro style cooking, sipped happily in Victorian times, when refrigeration still awaited invention, & meat wastage was deplored. The pencil, you may have noted, has a cover to make the idea more palatable.  

Waiter! There is a shark in my soup!  

Hmmm... you're gonna need a bigger bowl.

Waiter, there's a horseshoe in my soup!

Just the shoe? We're missing the full horse.

Waiter, there's a novel in my soup!

Yes, we upgraded you from the standard alphabet soup to the editor's choice.

Waiter, there's roadside flare in my soup!

Well, you did insist on the Shark fin soup, so you may need to be rescued if it gets too much for you.

Waiter, there is a harpoon in my soup!

My apologies, ma'am - this bowl was meant for one of the sailors at the other table.

Waiter, there's a stack of notecards in my soup!

Oh dear, Ma'am. I am most sorry. Here is a replacement bowl of soup for you. The two new work experience students from the local high school will need the note cards to write up their schoolwork.

Waiter, there is a blackboard in my soup!

Pardon me, madame - let me return that to the chef so he can write up today's specials.

Waiter, there's a steel ball in my soup!

My apologies, Madame. It must have been a ball bearing from recent building renovations, conducted at the demand of Local Council inspectors for the whole shopping centre here.

Waiter! There is an electric drill in my soup!

Are you suggesting there is something boring about our soup, ma'am?

Waiter, there's a clock in my soup!

You did ask for your soup in a timely fashion.

Waiter, there's a bonsai tree in my soup!

Oh dear! The cook must have mistaken it for the piece of broccoli your Vegetable soup recipe demands as a garnish.

Waiter! There is a football in my soup! 

Yes, ma'am, you did ask for soup with a little extra kick in it...

Waiter, there's an Olympic medal in my soup!

Well, we did tell you it was award-winning soup.

Waiter, there's a flower in my soup!

Yes, ma'am, the Soup of the Day, which you asked for, was indeed Cauliflower & Broccoli soup, garnished with a pretty, fresh, nasturtium flower for colour & effect. Did you know that nasturtium flowers are actually edible?

Waiter, there is a horse's bridle in my soup!