Yes, it's because you're our third best-dressed customer of the day!  You win a free car wash down the street. 

Waiter, why is there a wig in my soup?

We upgraded you from our standard “hair in the soup.”

Waiter, there’s a goldfish in my soup!

Uh oh.. Did we give you the fish bowl for dinner? But... Try to make the best of it, our raw fish tastes good as well! 

Waiter, there are playing cards in my soup! 

Yes, in this Wild West featured restaurant, complete with saloon doors, we do deal out playing cards with our bean soup. If you can answer what the Deadman's Hand is, or explain who Wild Bill Hickok was, you may win one of the desserts featured on the back of each card.

Waiter! There is a discus in my soup! 

Our apologies, madame. One of the other waiters has been practicing his discus-throwing and overshot.

Waiter, there's a stamped letter in my soup!

Yes, our postman did run into the building this morning in rather a hurry. Did the letter have a name & address on the envelope? If you give it to me, I'll see that it is reposted to the right person.

Waiter! There is a small parcel in my soup?

Our apologies, ma'am! Someone misplaced the dessert portion of a to-go order.

Waiter, there's a stone in my soup!

Our apologies! You did ask for cockatoo soup, you know, and it's only when the stone gets soft that the cockatoo's cooked. We must have forgotten to remove it.

Waiter, there's a lion in my soup!

Why, how lucky that Aslan paid a visit! 

Waiter, there's a candle in my soup!

Soup? I'm sorry, sir, that was supposed to be a birthday cake, but it looks like the chef got the proportions of wet to dry ingredients wrong...

Waiter, there's a key in my soup!

Thank you for locating the key to our secret recipes cookbook! 

Waiter, there's a bee hive in my soup!

Yes, it is spring around these parts, but we must remember, when seated outdoors, that the bees are swarming. My apologies, I'll get you another plate indoors, whilst the apiarist we have called, organises the bees into more suitable accommodation. 

Waiter! There is a crutch in my soup! 

Actually, it's a 'crunch' and that's from the hard, fried bread in the soup. 

Waiter, there's a pencil in my soup!

Of course there is a pencil in your soup! It is to jot down any complaints you need to make in this out-of-the-way, isolated and poorly provisioned roadside diner, where complaints are all the more likely, due to a Pandemic, changes of government, economic crises, shortages of supply, and the full horror of living in this present time. By all means, if you want to write a full treatise on your personal beefs, be our guest, & help yourself to the scrap paper out the back.  

Waiter! There is a nicely framed degree qualification in my soup!

Certainly, ma'am. Since you've been visiting our restaurant regularly over the past year and have tried and reviewed every variety of soup we provide, we are proud to award you with the degree of Bachelor of Soupology.  

Waiter! There's a dragon in my soup!