That teacher smothers children when she's impressed with them. She constantly wants to talk to people like you, i was saving you.

You ate my giant flying sentient pickle (joe )

I had a disease that could only be cured by eating a giant flying pickle, I had no idea it was sentient!

You stuck my head in the toilet!

You were thirsty.

You poked me with a red hot poker.

First off, it was red, but not hot. Second, you weren't moving, and just washed up on the shore of a beach.

You set my house on fire with me in it, and then blocked all ways of escape! I used a piece of the ceiling that had already fallen to break a wall and escape, but still! It's bad!

I'm a pyromaniac. I can't help it!

It's a hot day, you just drank my last icy-cold Coke!

Well you told me I could help myself...

You sent me an invitation to a party that was on LAST week!

I sent it out four months ago! Wretched postal service

You used your magic wand to transfigure me into a flower pot.

You told me to "plant myself" on the couch, and I needed something to plant myself in. Since you told me to, I figured it was only fair that you be the one to help.

You shaved my dog bald!

Oh, my bad. When you said you wanted to name name your dog Balto, for some reason it sounded like you said you wanted him bald ... oops.

You threw your bowling ball into my lane!

I'm a bad aim. Also, someone put a wall in the way of the pins on my lane.

You placed a wall in the way of the pins on my lane!

We're sharing a lane, I wanted a good challenge.

You dunked the fire flower Mario gave me in the sink and put it out!

You threw your bowling ball into my lane!

I'm a bad aim...

(out of game: I did that on the wii once for that reason...)

Well there was a gas leak in the bathroom... you don't want the house to explode do you?

You broke the gas pipe in the bathroom!

Mario told me that he needed that particular pipe type to fix another, more-important-to-fix pipe, one that had a gas so dangerous, that if it was exposed to oxygen for too long, it would make a nuclear explosion (it was a nuclear gas). I'll get you a replacement pipe, it's just that the nearest place to get one is ten minutes away, and I needed it in under five minutes.

You broke the nuclear gas pipe!

(out of game: I did that on the wii once for that reason...)

(out of game II: and I thought was the only one who had ever done that )

I wanted to get back at Mario!

You locked me out of my house!

Of course I did. You have been very destructive lately. Who knows what else you might do to the house.

You hid all of the cat's toys and now she's playing with my stuffed animals instead!