Now your smart phone is better. In fact, it works so well that you can barely pry yourself away from it, and you end up with nomophobia and a short attention span.

I wish my feet weren't on fire. 😉 

Your feet are no longer on fire but are cold again - you're right back where you started.

I wish I could come up with the perfect Christmas gifts.

Congratulations! You have an A.I. generator that can create the best Christmas presents, but now you're invited to so many holiday parties you can't keep up with them! 

(I like your profile picture)

I wish my memory worked better.

Abracadabra! Your memory does work better. But then there is a real downside to an excellent memory, in that for most people there are memories that they would rather forget, to live life comfortably.

I wish that I could go back in time to last century.   

Your wish is granted! You're sent back to 1901, though, and you're stuck there.

I wish that spring would come early.

Spring comes early and fruit trees don't get sufficient chill hours to produce fruit.

I wish that it was sunny.

Good things come to those who wait, they say. So, it does indeed become sunny, so sunny that winter will be over by February 1st, and by Midsummer on June the 21st, it will be so unbearably hot that you will wish that it was so chilly that you will never again dream of a white Christmas.

I wish that summer will soon be over, when nice crisp autumn winds cool down the atmosphere. 🥵

Boom! Summer is instantly over in Australia, thanks to you. And a certain Aussie expat — yours truly, who will be back in Oz next month and was just looking forward to some nice sunny weather at last — is about to organise a squad of ninja kangaroos to break down your door and deal with you personally.  

On that note, I wish we had better weather in the UK.

Splendid! It shall never rain in Britain again.

Though of course, speaking of weather, I do sincerely wish it would snow around here.

Great idea! Your whole area has just been buried under 10 feet of snow — and at least you're indoors at home, but it may be quite some time before rescue parties manage to dig through to your door, so let's hope you've got plenty of food handy...

I wish I had a pet dragon.

Congratulations, your wish has been granted! But it's not house-broken and that, unfortunately, results in some very destructive fires.

I wish that I always knew the right words to say.

Hooray! You now always know the right words to say... but nobody listens to them.

I wish my housework would do itself.

Surprise, surprise, your housework does indeed do itself. But however nice & tidy is the result, nothing is where it should be, & you won't know the first place to look where anything is.

I wish that nice squad of ninja kangaroos that Courtenay dreamed up, would fix up my front door, which is cracked anyway.   

The kangaroos do fix your door but they fix it tight shut, rendering it unusable.

I wish my knitting turned out right the first time round every time.

Hooray! Your knitting does turn out right the first time around every time. But unfortunately, though that does speed up your efforts somewhat, the item of clothing you are possibly knitting, will still be too small for the intended wearer, by the time that you have finished it.  

I wish that the cost of living wouldn't be so high, & that even take-away food is unaffordable.