Dan was about to answer Moira's inquiry about what he did for a living when things went crazy.  The bull suddenly kicked Junior and it was all Dan could do to back away from the falling man. He almost laughed at how well he'd managed to keep his glass intact until he slipped and fell on his face.

The proverbial bull in a china shop, he thought, ready to reach down to help Junior until Mr. Waters whipped out a bottle of something and sprayed it. Dan wasn't going to wait around to see what it was; he backed away toward where his daughters were watching with wide eyes.

Angie's "Are you all right?" was lost in the commotion, but she had some emergency first aid training and wanted to help. She stepped back also but kept an eye on the action in case there was something she could do.

There was certainly never a dull moment at one of these parties!

Posted by: @arin

...Ian thought it best not to take chances, especially with children around. "Under the table," he said, and pulled up the tablecloth.

At first, Emma had giggled at the slapstick-style turn of events - she was young and no one could blame her for that - but something in the way Ian spoke got her attention, and she ducked under the table, Grace next to her.  At least we have cookies, she thought.

Ian moved quickly, getting the girls out of the way and under the table, which left Mel to put herself between the little group and any further action. The hackles along her back were raised with excitement and a healthy dose of unease. The bull was at least twice her size, but she'd talked to a few cattle dogs and had a notion that if things went really, really, bad her best option was to try and grab it by the nose.

That seemed an unkind thing to do to a guest, but kicking another guest was also outside the bounds of polite behavior.

"Hey!" barked Mel. Whatever else she might have wanted to say was lost in an enormous sneeze. She couldn't identify what was in the spray Mr. Waters had whipped out, but it wasn't peppermint and it wasn't cinnamon spice. "Hey-hey-haitchooooo!"

Maeve's head turned sharply as she heard the thud of Junior's bull incident. She almost began to move forward, ready to intervene, then realized: Ditto Town's finest was standing right next to her. Beside, this wasn't her planet anyway.

"Oof," she commented. "So, now what, officer?"

~~

Kaelin froze as both Grace and Emma disappeared with Ian under the table. Why would you go under a folding table when folks are fighting? That's dumb. She looked around, then up. Early on in her life, when she thought that every good parent taught their kid how to hide while wearing a gas mask, her mother had told her that her special hiding place should always be up. Above her, and a little to her right, was a large chandelier. It would be easy to reach, and less likely to be decimated than the folding table. But then, what about Cosette?

I can do it. 

She grabbed Cosette's waist.

"Hold tight!" Kaelin instructed. She placed her free hand palm down, bent her knees, and a moment later was flying through the air. Their landing was far from neat, as the chandelier bucked and swayed, but they were both off the ground, safe for the moment being.

OOC: Zehya was consulted about the actions in this post and has approved them.

"That would be lovely," Ainsley replied, just a little bit too sweetly. There was obvious tension between the two women, yet neither quite understood the full extent of the matter. Ainsley, for her part, did not wish to end the conversation until she ascertained how much Delia knew. Unfortunately for her, that wish was doomed to be unfulfilled because just then, Junior came flying across the room and began warning the partygoers to get back. 

"Oh boy, here we go," she said with eyes rolling. Midroll, she caught Jeff's eyes from across the crowd; he too looked incredibly frustrated at the prospect of having to deal with a confrontation on his day off. 

"Just another day in Ditto Town, eh Maeve? Duty calls." He stated glumly, stepping out into the crowd's gap that had formed between Junior, and the intelligent and sentient creature, flashing both his DTPD badge and his service blaster. 

"Listen up; for those of you who don't know me, I'm Sergeant Jeffery Evans of the Ditto Town PD; now I don't know what started this and frankly-" He stopped mid sentence and sniffed at the air. After a moment, he turned to face the table under which Mr. Waters was hiding. 

"Would the owner of the squirrel be-gone please remove themselves from underneath the tablecloth? There are children here, for Pete's sake." 

Moira was waiting for Dan to answer her question when there was a commotion behind her. She turned around in time to see a man go sliding across the floor, yell for everyone to get back, and then faceplant when he tried to get up.

Oh no.

She turned again to face the bull, who was now prancing and snorting - and probably enjoying causing a scene.

"What did you do?" she hissed at him. The bull merely shook his head and pawed the ground.

"Did you...KICK HIM? Stop moving. Stop, RIGHT NOW." How did the farmers back home handle bulls? Something about the nose, was it? Moira reached out and, using as much force as she could muster, bonked him in the nose with her fist. The bull shook his head and then sneezed - once, twice, thrice. Not quite the reaction I was expecting, she thought. But he had stopped prancing, so she grabbed his left horn and yanked hard; holding his head in what was hopefully an uncomfortable angle, she furiously whispered at him.

"What was that? What were you doing? What kind of display were you putting on?"

"But, Moira, he - " the bull managed to whisper back between sneezes.

"I don't care WHAT he did. He could've called you an ugly, ill-mannered, evil monster and he still would've been on this side of charitable! We're guests. GUESTS. Do you know how discourteous it is to ATTACK our host's other guests? Wars have been fought over less! And the guests - the ones who have been so kind and welcoming to us - they've been frightened and maybe terrified! The children are hiding under the table! The other four-legged creature - whose acquaintance you so wanted to make - is ready to defend them and rip you to pieces! What sort of explanation could you - "

 Her lecture was interrupted (mercifully, thought the bull, who had been fruitlessly attempting to pull his horn out of her grip) by another guest striding forward.

Posted by: @jackalopeofevul

Listen up; for those of you who don't know me, I'm Sergeant Jeffery Evans of the Ditto Town PD."

"If the magistrate wants to turn you into sausage, I won't even try to stop him. If you're going to act like a wild animal, you're going to be treated like one," Moira whispered. At this, the bull finally managed to free his horn, and dropped to the ground, head low, in what he hoped was a submissive and completely non-threatening manner. His sneezing bout had certainly diminished his terrifying demeanour.

Things seemed to be calming down already, with the young woman next to the bull grabbing it by the horn, and then Sergeant Evans coming forward. Ian turned to the girls next to him, and raised an eyebrow. "Are all the parties in this town so ... exciting?"

The bull dropped to the ground and lowered his head. Ian reflected that, while Lauren would have been embarrassed to have hidden when things were already getting resolved, he felt -- wait, where was Lauren?

He looked in the direction he had last seen her, and caught sight of her immediately -- coming toward the middle of the room, eyes sparking, something odd about her blouse ... oh, dear.

---

Lauren Winston had been called many unflattering things in her life, mostly by her siblings, and she would admit to deserving most of them. But no one could ever call her a coward. She stalked toward the altercation, prepared to do -- something. Maybe give someone a piece of her mind. Maybe give someone a shoe to the face.

The bull's sneezing fit barely slowed her down, but then she registered the young woman holding it by the horn. That surprised her enough to slow her down, and the sergeant coming forward and addressing the group made her stop.

Her temper was still burning, kept lit by annoyance (this blouse cost nearly $50!) but tempered with admiration for the way the other woman had confronted the bull. Lauren remained where she was, out of the way but close enough to hear what was going on. If she had the chance, she'd like to talk to the woman.

Where was Ian? She scanned the room, and caught sight of him under a table with two little girls. Of course.

Ian raised an eyebrow at her, asking wordlessly, All good?

She rolled her eyes at him. What do you think? And how would you help from over there, anyway?

Ian grinned back.

Kaelin wedged herself into one of the loops of the chandelier and stared down aa the commotion continued and then quieted. She rubbed her eye with her hand. It was almost like her eyeball hurt, but deeper in her head. She felt her eye watering, and it seemed to water the more she rubbed. She stopped, drying her hand on her top. 

"Achoo!" she sneezed. Man, does nobody dust the chandeliers in this place? She sneezed again. It kind of hurt. Maybe it was time for them to get down now? 

Sneeze.

That one hurt her throat, too. Cosette seemed fine; but perhaps she was in a less-dusty spot. The bull was clearly calm now (although it seemed Junior might still be ready for a fight: she wasn't sure), so it seemed safe. If she could only stop sneezing!

Jeff carefully reassessed the situation; the bull seemed to have calmed down some, while Junior and Mr. Waters still appeared to be in combat mode. If ever there was the time for escalation, now was it.

"Ms. Death, if it's not too much trouble, would you mind showing Mr. Waters where he can store his chemical weapon for the remainder of the evening?" 

Realizing that brandishing his weapon was an additional aggravating factor for which this situation did not call, he re-buttoned his jacket. Then, he cautiously approached the animal, crouching down on his heels in order to be on near eye level with it. 

"You know what strikes me as odd? You're a talking animal, Master Bull. Intelligent enough to know better. I've been keeping an eye on you since you walked in, and you've been on your best behavior all night. That was until just now when you decided to kick Junior. Now I'm not a betting man, but if I were, I'd wager my next paycheck that it wasn't because he accidentally stepped on your hoof. So why don't you tell me all about it, Mr...?"

Delia stalked past Waters, snatching his can of stink-o-spray out of his hand and lobbing it into the trash bin. She pulled a chair out and hopped up on it, then let out a loud "hey-o!" and held her drink aloft, waiting for everyone to quiet down before she continued.

"Well, lovelies," she began, "it appears everyone is having a wonderful time. I would like to officially welcome you to this year's Holiday Party and offer a toast to all of us, for having survived another year in Ditto Town. Cheers!"

Delia took a swig of her cider, some of the steam (smoke?) escaping out her nose.

"Ah. Now, I know you all have socializing and shenanigans on your to-do list tonight, so let's get on with our one formally scheduled event: the white elephant! We have a variety of interesting gifts to choose from. Everyone, grab a package--try not to make it one you came with--and rip off the wrapping."

Delia hopped down from her pedestal and waved her hands dramatically over the gifts.

Dear Writers,

Kindly choose a gift, indicate your choice, and unwrap at your leisure. Presents are on a first-come, first-served basis, so if you happen to grab the same box as someone else, the first to post their grab gets the box. I will endeavor to mark off each package as it has been retrieved.

Poisoned kisses,

Delia

Big items:

Small items:

Spoiler

Small square box with FRAGILE written on it

A box of apple cider and hot chocolate mixes, along with a Torquay puzzle jug, with the motto:

In this jug there is good liquor,

Fit for parson or for vicar,

But to drink and not to spill,

Will try the utmost of your skill

Envelopes:

Ian had been waiting for this! He slipped out from under the dessert table over to the guest table, and went for the first box to catch his eye: a box wrapped in white paper with reindeer and Christmas trees on it. 

He took a few steps to the side. He didn't open the box right away; he wanted to see who was going to get his, and what they would make of it.

---

Lauren was in no mood to be jostled around. Fortunately, she was close enough to the table to grab something -- an envelope with gold lettering -- and move away again before most of the other guests, including Ian, were ... well, she hadn't been that close. She bumped into and got bumped by several people as she tried to find somewhere a little less crowded.

Finally far enough to be out of the way, Lauren looked down at the envelope. Perhaps a gift certificate? "Don't hope for too much," she reminded herself. "It's just a white elephant gift exchange." She opened it.

She blinked. Wait. What?

Molly reached under the table and dragged out Mr Waters and his bag.

"You'd better not--achoo--have any more--ah-ahchoo--of that stuff in there--Ahchoo!" she hissed between sneezes.  "Now hurry up and choose a present.  And no more disturbances--or else!"

Muttering to himself, he grabbed the first thing he saw, a neatly wrapped box, and went off into a corner.  Molly shrugged, and looked at the table.  A 20lb feedsack with a knot tied in the neck. Just the thing--if for no other reason than to use the feedsack to suppress somebody.  She cast a baleful glance after Mr Waters, and lugged the sack off the table.  Untying the knot, she peeked inside.

"Oh, pretty!  And doubly useful." She looked at Mr Waters again, smiling sardonically.

Mel tried to wipe her eyes--which had been affected by the same stuff that had made her sneeze--on her foreleg, but that didn't help. "Excuse me," she barked, and dashed outside to bury her face in the snow.

Some vigorous rubbing and headshaking later, she felt much better. The jaunty bow around her neck, however, was now sadly bedraggled. Mel shook herself all over, sending the few remaining flakes of white flying, as well as lots of droplets that had once been snowflakes and trotted back inside.

She made her way to the table of gifts, hoping that the one that had caught her eye had not been chosen yet. The big blue box with a silver ribbon was still sitting there, so Mel tugged it free from the pile of presents and started worrying at the wrapping. She paused several times to wipe her eyes, which were watering again, but fortunately did not sneeze. A nudge of her nose flipped the box open, and Mel hung her head over the edge to see what was inside.

"Oh! How pretty!" And delicate, Mel thought. I'll have to be very careful getting it home again, but it will look nice on a shelf!

Grace and Emma followed Ian out from under the table. Excited about hearing Ms. Delia talk about gifts, they hurried over to the table bearing the presents.

Emma, always attracted to bright and pretty colors, reached for the small box with dancing reindeer wrapping paper (and a multi-colored bow).

Grace took a moment longer but eventually chose the small silver box with blue ribbon.

Then they dashed over to where their parents stood.  "Mommy! Daddy! Look what we got!"

While the others hurried to the gift table, Maeve walked under the chandelier. 

"Nice choice," she said with a chuckle. "Think you can get the both of you down again?"

Kaelin shook her head and sneezed again. Her head felt big--so did her tongue. She mainly just wanted down, but couldn't think of how to get there, and even though her eyes were watering, she didn't want to cry in front of everyone. That would be embarrassing.

Maeve looked about. The problem with rooms with chandeliers is that they are very tall, which meant that she now had the equivalent of the two-kittens-in-a-tree problem (except in the case of kittens, Maeve could solve the problem without having to call the fire department). Jeff, the person she perhaps felt the most comfortable around, was busy doing his job. Ainsley, bless her, was a good friend in the wilds, but not so much here. Besides, while gorgeous, her dress definitely did not leave room for pockets or anything useful. Delia was, well, Delia, meaning she was meant to be The Person of Last Resort, except--well, she was the default keeper of the Mansion. 

"Hey, Delia, you know if the Mansion basement has any ladders?"

Posted by: @jackalopeofevul
You know what strikes me as odd? You're a talking animal, Master Bull. Intelligent enough to know better. ... Now I'm not a betting man, but if I were, I'd wager my next paycheck that it wasn't because he accidentally stepped on your hoof. So why don't you tell me all about it, Mr...?

The bull decided that the risk of being questioned about his ability to talk was less than the risk of being turned into sausage by not talking - and, besides, the man seemed to expect it anyhow. "Ahchoo! Emm, Norro-achoo!" He managed between sneezes - his vision was also currently impaired by tears. "He came up and slapped me on the back - achoo - as if I was a common - achoo - milch cow! If you manhandle me - achoo - like a - achoo - dumb animal, instead of respecting - achoo - my strength and dignity, I tend to - achoo - respond in - achoo - kind."

Dignity? When had he ever displayed dignity? Moira silently scoffed.

The bull continued: "But I'm impet - achoo - -uous, I know, and discourteous - achoo - and a fool - achoo - but please don't turn me into sausage, good sir! ACHOO!"

Moira's attention was caught by their hostess making an announcement.

Everyone, grab a package--try not to make it one you came with--and rip off the wrapping.

She certainly wasn't going to let the bull's shenanigans get in the way of her enjoying the party anymore than it already had and, besides, Officer Evans, was in the middle of talking to him. She joined the queue and picked up a neatly wrapped box with a ribbon. She shot a look back at her companion - he was really looking pitiful, with his eyes watering and sneezes emanating every few breaths - and decided to pick up a gift for him as well. She selected a plastic bag (containing a flat-ended cylinder about the size of two softballs, wrapped in red and green and gold plaid paper with a gold foil bow) and headed back towards Officer Evans and the bull. If he hasn't learned his lesson, well, maybe this can replace whatever he stole from his brother.