A (Slightly) Less Normal Life

"It's what I exist to do. If it is truly the person's time to die, there's nothing I can do. But you'd be amazed at what people will be motivated to get done when they know they're going to die. Just last week I got a husband to finally stop leaving the lid up on the toilet when I told him his wife was going have a psychotic break and poison him with strychnine the next time he left it up," Moira replied.

-----

"Only if you drink some of the vampire's blood too, dearie. Never quite understood why anyone would do that. I certainly wouldn't want my last moments in this world to be choking on nasty, cold, rancid vampire blood. What happens next depends on what kind of vampire turns you. You might head off for the afterlife, leaving your body behind to be possessed by a demonic entity that will pervert your shell of a body into a thing of evil and roam the night, looking for victims. Or you might not die and instead gain the ability to sparkle in the sunlight and convince dim-witted teenagers that the two of you are soul mates, even when you behave in a creepy and stalkerish manner. Or you might just wander the night with some special new powers and a nice billowy leather coat and be angsty and broody. Like I said, it depends on the sub-species," Miss Lucinda rattled on while she loaded her pockets with vials of holy water and a few bladed weapons.

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"Well they wouldn't be strangers anymore if you did I guess." The guy pointed out. He took a sip of his drink and glanced over at the girl that had just rushed in. He thought that was probably a good victim for the male bartender to target.

"Whoa, okay..." Walter said, stepping backwards and picking up a shot glass.

"Drive-by shooting?" He asked, attempting to suppress a grin at the girl's flustered state.

A (Slightly) Less Normal Life

Peter's eyes bugged. "You're joking . . . right?" he asked uncertainly, wondering if females really did hate that sort of thing enough to kill over it. Without really meaning to, he inched away from Hero.

"I still think it's a waste of time to warn them," Nikolas muttered under his breath before eating the rest of his scone.

----

"I 'ad a trenchcoat one time . . . I fink," Katie said, picking up a pouch full of garlic and sniffing at it. She sneezed loudly.

"But I don't quite fink I'd like any of vose fings," she added after a moment.

"Where we 'spose to find 'em?"

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The girl blinked at Walter blankly. "Of course not, peasant!" she cried suddenly. "I am fleeing from the warlord Zanticus and his band of evil renegades! I need the whiskey to tend to a wound my companion sustained. Hurry or else he shall perish!"

Elena tried not to laugh at the girl Walter suddenly had his hands full with.

P.S."Brooklyn!"

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"Oh, okay." Walter said, sliding the whiskey shot towards her. "But um, you can't take my glass out of here." He said.

"You know, I can't believe the police don't do something about the insane amount of addicts in this city." The guy on Elena's side of the bar said, finishing his drink and hoping for another.

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The girl's face dissolved into a look of perfect dismay. She looked down at the shot then up at Walter with tears in her eyes.

"Not even if I promise to bring it back?" she asked in a small voice. "Please, I have to get this to him or he could die!"

Elena wondered vaguely if they were on candid camera. "I don't think I've ever run across real RPGers before," she said. "Now I think I could have lived my entire life without meeting one." She shook her head and reached over to Walter's side to get the guy's drink. Refilling his cup, she continued to watch the happenings on Walter's side with interest.

P.S."Brooklyn!"

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"Not my problem." Walter smirked. "You could always carry it to him...in your mouth." He suggested.

"Freakin' lame." The guy muttered, wondering if people really didn't have anything better to waste everyone's time on.

"Thanks." He added, glancing at Elena as he took his drink.

"I come in here a lot...You're new, and I'm Sydney." He said, hoping Elena would realize that as a regular he was entitled to a free drink now and again.

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((Yay! Sydney's back! ))

"But-but-but . . ." the girl stammered for a while. Then she brightened. "Could I bring him in here?" She asked hopefully.

"I'm Elena," said Elena with a slight smile. She hadn't met a young man yet who actually thanked her for anything, so that put Sydney on her nice list. "Nice to meet you."

P.S."Brooklyn!"

A (Slightly) Less Normal Life

"I rarely joke," Moira replied, with a hint of mischief in her eye, before turning back to Nikolas. "So what are you? Death omen? Reaper? Psychopomp?"

-----

"Oh, they're not that hard to find. The little dears aren't very imaginative in their hiding places. They always seem to end up in the graveyards, hiding in disgusting crypts or in old abandoned mansions. We don't have a lot of abandoned mansions, but we do have an abandoned cemetary, out on the outskirts of the town. I believe it dates back to the first settlers of Ditto Town. There may even be Founders buried there, although that's mostly legend. Even I don't know if it's true. So are you ready to go?"

-----

Oh, so you're bounty hunting? I used to do that for a Hutt crime lord. Great pay, but horrible retirement package. The lucky ones got to be dinner for the rankor," Ana said.

A (Slightly) Less Normal Life)

Nikolas stared back flatly. "I'm the Ghost King," he said after a slight pause. "Son of Hades. . . . A demigod."

"Yeeeeeeeah, we kinda all are," Peter said with a nod. "Demigods I mean, not sons of Hades . . . obviously." He grinned sheepishly.

Hero rolled her eyes. "It's hard to believe sometimes that he's even half-human," she said, slapping Peter upside the head.

----

"Graveyards ain't my favorite place in the universe," Katie said slowly. "Mmm, but . . . okay! Sounds like fun anyways. Betta than sittin' 'ere all day."

She hurried over to the door and waited impatiently for Miss Lucinda to lead the way.

----

"Weeeell, we aren't bounty hunters really. I mean, we do some on the side, sure. But I think what the Captain is looking for is more personal than that. And then there's that thing he always tries to keep hidden. Kinda suspicious, but you know, we don't question it really. He's a good Captain and takes care of us. Saved us all from space pirates once. Still not entirely sure how he did it either. It was really weird yet really cool."

Caeden bobbed his head up and down as he grabbed placed the two empty glasses on the counter and picked up the other two that the barkeeper had placed in front of him. He stared down at them for a moment before holding them both up to Ana.

"Which one's the twistler?" he asked hesitantly.

P.S."Brooklyn!"

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"Sure." Walter shrugged, a little curious as to what she was gonna bring back with her.

Sydney grinned slightly as he felt Elena was warming up to him a tiny bit.

"You just started today?" He asked, even though he knew the answer already cuz he'd been there every day for the past three weeks and he would've noticed if she'd been there before.

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"Kay!" the girl said cheerily. "Be right back." She scurried out of the bar and returned a few moments later with a staggering young man leaning on her shoulder. He was sweating and dirty and was limping.

"I NEED WHISKEY!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

Elena cringed. "Yeah, and I think I'd rather have picked a different day to start. Is it always this crazy in here?"

P.S."Brooklyn!"

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"Haha, don't we all?" Walter laughed unfeelingly as he slid the glass across the bar towards the guy.

"Yeah, all the deadbeats and crazies come in here. It only gets worse as it gets later." Sydney shrugged, watching the drama unfold on the other side of the bar.

"Gosh." Aveda said as she followed the whiskey-demanding man into the bar. "Some people." She said, shouldering her heavy looking bag and shuffling over to where Sydney was sitting at the bar.

"Hey." Sydney said, reaching over and taking a handful of the young girl's heavy coat collar to pull her up on the stool next to him.

"Hey." Aveda said, staring at Elena and wondering what she should question first.

"This is Aveda." Sydney said, gesturing towards the underage newcomer that was bundled up and still freezing from the weather she'd just come out of.

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Elena smiled at Aveda and then glanced over at Sydney with a tiny smirk. "So which are you? A deadbeat or a crazy?"

The girl grabbed the whiskey and poured it on the young man's leg where his pants had been torn. He yelped at the sting but then a few seconds later leaped up good as new and slapped a twenty down on the counter in front of Walter.

"You have done me a great service, peasant," he said seriously. "When I am king of Gaquotama you shall be greatly rewarded." With that he turned to the girl and cried, "come my love! We must ride away and escape before the evil renegades are upon us!"

"How wise you are, Sir Gallent!" the girl swooned and hand-in-hand they ran out of the bar.

P.S."Brooklyn!"

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"Huh, I knew I'd never have to work hard to make it in this life." Walter mused, watching them go and letting himself believe for a moment that he'd be rewarded and everything would turn out okay for him.

Sydney thought about it a moment and then glanced at Aveda before replying.

"Probably a crazy." He replied. Aveda glanced up at him and seemed to approve of his verdict.

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"To quote the Cheshire cat, 'we're all mad here,'" Elena said with a shrug, surprised she remembered that quote when it had been at least a decade since she had actually read the book.

Samantha Jones walked into the bar hesitantly, approaching the counter as though she was not entirely sure she should be there. "Um," she said to Walter. "I heard that this place caters . . . is that true?"

P.S."Brooklyn!"