I wasn't in a popular group until I was in the eighth grade and throughout High School. I was bullied a lot in fourth grade till seventh grade. Kids are just mean to be honest. I think when someone is called popular it comes with a territory and basically it's what that person does to be popular. Like for instance how we look up to our role models, actors, etc our support is what makes them popular. In real life at school it does not matter it a person that is popular are good or bad, it's all about them having a higher self esteem, they are an honor role student, they do things to help a community, physical attraction, etc, people and sociable crowds look up to people like that (It doesn't matter if they have a mean personality) then like you said there are also the nice and sweet populars. They are popular because yes they are nice, but also because they are confident and positive which is why people love to be around them, and mean people know that they can't bring them down.

Yes I am a victim of being bullied but that was because back then I had epilepsy and had no idea about it, I was shy and kept to myself a lot, people thought I was weird. Over the summer before going into the eighth grade I found out about my epilepsy and got good treatment, met a great boy at a church my friend invited me to and ended up becoming my boyfriend, I threw my own party and became very sociable and confident that when i entered eighth grade everyone saw a huge change in me and wanted to be my friend. By figuring out my problem I found my true self and I enjoyed it. I was never mean, I excepted everyone who wanted to befriend me or if I wanted to befriend anyone, I got into acting, I became ambassador of my states Epilepsy Foundation for three years and got to go to Washington DC multiple times to Capitol Hill to support finding a cure.

Like I said it is what you do with the popularity that makes people look up to you.

I was never popular, that's for sure!
In high school, when I thought logically, I was glad that I wasn't popular. Most of the kids who were, they were all really outgoing and busy all the time.. didn't seem fun to me.
But then some part of me thought it would have a fun side to it, I think because everyone just wants to be liked and noticed by other people.
I was basically ignored by most people because I was quiet and weird (I still am weird, by the way ). There were definitely obvious cliques, and I never fit any of them, not even with the nerds lol.

That's why starting college was soooo nice, because suddenly popularity and 'fitting in' became things of the past. No one cares anymore about cliques, we're just all tryin to get our degrees

I was never popular, but I made my way along because I was "nice." Even if some popular people were mean, they never really bothered me. Well at least in school. I took an extra sport outside of school and some of those kids were really mean. I think that was because I wasn't very strong physically, and the popular kids (the stronger ones) thought I was weak. *shrugs* It bothered me at the time but now I realize how dumb all of that was.

I think everyone has been bullied and have bullied others on one way or another. I think that even if you laugh at a bully's cruel jokes, or just standby and watch, you are contributing to the bullying. Some times people do this so the most powerful kids (popular ones) don't bother tham.

There are some nice popular people as well. I have had friends who were popular. I'd rather stay out of the lime light and in the shadows though. Most of the activities popular kids did never excited me. To be honest I thought it was all kind of boring. I am a bit of a nerd, but I am proud of it!

I have no problem with popular people as long as they're nice, and the same goes for quiet people...and well all people!

That's why starting college was soooo nice, because suddenly popularity and 'fitting in' became things of the past. No one cares anymore about cliques, we're just all tryin to get our degrees

Yes, definitely the best part about college.

I was never popular, and frankly I learned not to care. If you wanted to be my friend we could be friends, if not that was ok, I wasn't gonna hate the person over it. The whole heirarchy bugged me, and kids can be abesolutely brutal to each other I used to be the one who'd get teased in high school, middle school, and elementary, but frankly looking back I'm kind of glad, because I learned to overcome it- and that's a big part of what made me who I am today. I don't like to judge people, especially not based off of something as silly as what they wear. Frankly I don't want to be remembered as being popular of famous, but I want to leave behind a better world than what I got. Cause in the end it doesn't matter if you're a prep or nerd or a whatever in school, school doesn't last forever, but what you do do now will always have an impact on someonre else. So make sure it's a positive one.

You know a great movie that goes along with this topic- To Save a Life- I'd reccomend (sp?) it to all.

The desire for popularity is driven out of the desire to be seen as valuable by other people and therefore being able to see ourselves as valuable. That desire doesn't really go away in college. I agree that it's neat to see the hierarchies disappear in college, but I want to speak out against the idea that when you get to college, everything is peachy.

I have seen loneliness tear people apart in college. Cliques still happen. People are desperate to be known and loved and sometimes it doesn't happen the way people think it should.

I'm probably mostly extroverted, so I've wrestled with loneliness and depending on people for value in college, to be sure. I'm not really sure why I'm posting this here, but I guess I just wanted to mention that depending on people for happiness will eventually backfire. I never realized my total dependence on other people for worth until college, actually. It's a type of emotional enslavement, reliant on humans who make mistakes.

I was never popular (I love how so far three posts start out this way )...and would have liked to have been.

When I was 12-15, in particular, I really wanted to be popular, to be in the popular group of kids at church. I think it's a pretty typical thing for a girl my age to go thru, I'm just glad I went thru it and it's done now. Not a good time. I'm afraid to say that I was very much the girl-on-the-fringe, despretly trying to fit in by having the right clothes (which never happened), saying the right things (ditto), or knowing about the right movies/music/TV shows (ditto). I SO wish I could go back to myself at that age and tell me that it wasn't a big deal, that things would work out, that I didn't even WANT to be friends with those girls...etc.
Yet at the same time, I'm glad I went through it--I learnt things that I wouldn't have otherwise, and I became dependant on myself instead of other people.
I'm certainly not thru with wanting to be popular...some things don't change...but thankfully now I feel pretty comfortable with myself and can recoginize that if people don't like me for who I am I shouldn't need to change.

I don't think popularity is a bad thing at all. I think it's how you use it, and why you have it in the first place, that makes it good/bad.

Where I work (horse farm) popularity comes from having money and if you don't you a re automaticly a 'loser'. Since I don't have money to burn I am in that group,I belive that the cause of this is the materiallastic attitude of our society. At first I used to try to fit in with them and when they first met me they were nice but once they found out I wasn't 'rich', I was not welcome in their group. I am so glad that I am no longer trying to fit in because it made me focas on other things other than what I was there for. Instead of trying to be like the 'cool' people I would rather just be myself.

^ That is what I really love about college as well, everyone is their own individual and we all go for the same thing, to get our degree and graduate. Who cares about popularity! The only groups I'm in at college is film and acting. I was invited to join a sorority, but I didn't want to join one of those.

Well, I am like so popular in school *says with snobby/preppy accent*

haha actually no I'm not really that popular. Never was and probably never will be. It's just not me. I mean I have a ton of great friends, but not so much that I fit in the "popular" group. You could like glance at me and know I'm not popular. But the good thing is that I've learned how to brush it off and to just live life. Starting around 5th grade all the way to 8th grade I was pretty insecure about myself, but I wouldn't admit it. I probably lost a lot of good experiences because I was so worried that I wouldn't fit in. But surprisingly now in 10th grade I truly don't give a hoot what people think.

I finally realized that there are so many people in the world that there has to always be other people who are just like you. When I started high school, I was so worried I wouldn't be able to make friends. Boy was I wrong, I practically found my nerd sister (lol we love most of the same things and we hate most of the same things..lol notice I say most)Haha we even fight like sisters sometimes (usually over silly things like lotr vs. hp...wait thats not a silly debate )

And I'm glad I found that in myself sooner or who knows how many great years of childhood I could've lost.

Hmm.. I've never really had issues with being or not being popular, but then again, I've never really been part of a group that has that standard out in the open. If I was to label people in such a way, I wouldn't at any point say I've been in a 'popular' group, for sure. When I went to primary school, I didn't really have any close friends some of the time, looking back on it, but Japanese primary schools really don't have any kind of cliques or such. I was just quiet, kept mostly to myself, and didn't really have problems with that.

Since I started secondary school I've been to two different schools, and at both schools I've had a group of friends who.. I don't know. We're not popular or unpopular, we're just us. Some of us are outgoing and spend time with lots of other people, and some of us are quieter. Popularity wasn't an issue when I joined the school, everyone in our grade was just good friends with everyone. It's becoming more of an issue now, but I wouldn't ever want to be associated with those people, or do the things they do.

Then again, my experiences in school and so on are probably very different from everyone else's here.

I always wanted to hang out with a certain group of people when I was about 11 or 12. They made it seem that they were so interesting and having so much fun in their little group. However when I finally did start talking to them, what they liked and had fun doing just didn't interest me. I'm not saying that they were boring or no fun, but what they did wasn't fun for me personally.

I also think that some people lose friends over trying to be popular. I lost a few, and it was really odd. One of my friends told me we couldn't be friends anymore. I was shocked because I felt it was something out of a movie when friends breakup over popularity issues.

It's almost impossible to be popular in chioagoland when your a Packer fan! But the most "popular" boy in my class is.

To me Popularity=

To echo VL I wish I could go back and do things differently and talk to myself and say, "hey, it's really not that important". But then if I did I wouldn't be the person I was today. From experience and observation I find that many of the "popular" kids tended to develop along similar lines, and thus really didn't develop quite so well as the outcasts did. (boy, could I write a book on that!)

From my days in middle and high school I remember the usual cliques...

The Preppies - This was the most popular and influential clique in school. If your folks were well to do you got an automatic bid into this clique, which is very difficult for members of any other caste to achieve. The best dressed, the prettiest girls, and the nicest cars. Compatible with the Jocks and to a lesser extent the Middle Classers.

Jocks - The sports heroes. Regardless of origins their athletic ability hoisted them up to a higher social status than they would ordinarily attain. Because of this they can mingle with the Preppies and seldom do anything with any of the other cliques. Very tightly knit.

Middle Classers - Straddling a thin, grey boundary between the Preppies and the Lower Incomers, this group is sort of a "jack of all trades" clique. The folks are pretty solid middle-class income workers, which gets their kids a car (important) but it's not going to be a BMW or Jetta. They're very adaptable and while they aren't openly accepted at social gatherings by Preppies or Jocks they can mingle with a select few of them.

Lower Incomers - The kids from the wrong side of the track. Regardless of race or creed they tend to stick together and are an outcast group in their own right, often avoided by the upper cliques altogether. Most likely to be seen in an AC/DC or Iron Maiden t-shirt (at least in the 80's they were ). Compatible with the Middle Classers to some extent.

The Geeks - Major social outcasts, nevertheless very tightly knit and forever science fiction or fantasy geeks. Their numbers are usually small and they're the most likely to get bullied. Mortal enemies are the Jocks and Preppies, in that order.

The Nerds - Charter members of Math, Science, Chess, Latin, Junior Civitan, and countless other clubs these are the brains of the high school. They don't get harassed by the other cliques but tend to be few in number and will always get a scholarship to a nice university. Sometimes they can be a bit daunting to talk to, especially if they earnestly believe their grey matter makes them superior to you, but despite this there are many that are good folks.

The Band - You're in the band. You stick together and all that matters is how well you play the clarinet and when you can get first chair. Way too cheery for their own good...and always selling overpriced candy bars. The Band draws most of its numbers from the Middle Classers and Low Incomers, and on rare occasion Preppies.

The Miscreants - these are the criminals in training. Every high school has them, usually smoking in the boys restroom between classes, or getting caught taking illicit substances someplace on campus grounds. More often than not they're just thugs, although occasionally a few will snap out of their self destructive habits and turn out ok. More often than not you end up seeing them in the police blotter after graduation. Every clique avoids them like the plague.

Regarding bullies I had my fill of them growing up. I remember 4th and 5th grade being chased from school to home over fences and under bushes escaping pursuit by 3rd year 5th graders with fledgling mustaches who meant me physical harm solely because they had the power to do so. But the worst were the girls...they didn't inflict physical harm but rather psychological. Girls in a strong clique mentality know how to torment a person without ever laying a finger on them and I carry bad scars to this day, enough so that if I ever saw my 7th grade tormentors today my knees would probably knock and I'd get queasy and want to sneak away somewhere and hide . I'd much rather take the physical beating than the psychological one any day of the week. Still it does tend to build character...it molds you and prepares you for adulthood in ways few other things could do, including sports.

Just my two cents.

In my homeschooling group there is no such thing as a clique that puts other kids down (or bullies them in any way whatsoever), but that doesn't mean that some kids aren't more popular than others. It's just that some kids are more liked than other kids. That's the way it is in any group of human beings. I wasn't part of the best-liked group for most of my life (being alternately shy and obnoxious for most of my childhood) but now that I'm a senior (looked up to by younger kids) and I've come out of my shell a bit without going crazy I'm better liked.

Here's here's hoping college goes just as well.