Verily, I am glad that thou readeth much, O dryad! I now hast recovered my old title, with thy help!

Inspirational Dramatist and Scroll Scripter of the Order-- I do like it much, indeed!

*disappears, then reappears with several long scrolls and jars of ink*

I shalt begin to compose the ballad of St. Euphineas forthwith! And perhaps the tale of the quest for his holy toenail?

*bangs a gong for emphasis*

Ahh I see. Mine was based on some other reports, perhaps that should be added to the conficting spoilers thread. My apologies for misinterpreting that. (Love your sig by the way )

No apologies needed . And thank you .

Storm of Glens Who-Reaveleth-Thyself-to-be-Not-So-Great, methought thou wast once an inhabitante of these faire walles. Wast not, before the last? This is a sad treacherie indeed, and mine heart doth weep for thee. (As, perforce, doth mine eyne.)

Pah, I am as great as you are Epic ! Oh heavens no, I have never resided inside of this hideaway of the foolish "pure of mind"s. Indeed, I did allow the treacherous thought of joining to enter my head but last week but our great high dark overlord Booky has shown me the light and I am now spoiled rotten forevermore. Mine heart and mine eyne doth weep for thee- brainwashed in to believing that thine viewing of the movie can only be pleasant when viewed in complete ignorance .

O Dryad of the Rose Tree, I thank thee for thyne help (although it makes about as much sense as talking like this. ). I shalt attempt understanding of the quest. Mayhaps I shalt stay behind, so as not to hinder it.

Methinks a ballad a Moste Excellent Notionnne, o Inspirational Dramatist and Scroll Scripter! Howe'er, thou canst not compose the tale of Our Moste Glorious Queste for many a daye: for soothe, 'tis not yet begun! I and all that travalle in mine company mayst make an recorde of our avventures, that thou mayst organize and look o'er when we doth return. Barringye thatt, of course, ye accompanie us on ourre queste.

It must needes be a companie passinge smalle and selectt. Yet of course, we shalt not turnne away Those Who Comme. Methinks we shalt sette off in a Matterre of Dayes.

...

Shalt take this opportunity to Re-State mine vowes, for in soothe I hadst not done so since afore the Last (and Not-So-Beatific) Vision.

I shalt not look unto any news articles, nor trailers that I hast not already seen.

OHHHHMMMMM

As High Knight, serving as leader of the Order in place of our Most High Reverend as he maketh his most difficult of choices, approveth of this journey. I shant take part as I must remain to protect these hallowed walls.

But alas, I must partake of a journey of mine own. In the morrow, I depart for a few days as there art a tournament to test the skills of mine blade. I goeth to the tournament knowing that mine blade wilt not be the keenest nor fastest, but I go nonetheless to see how mine skills truly compareth with some of the best swordsmen (and swordswomen) in the realm. It shalt take me five hours to arriveth at the site and I shalt depart last in the morning. I shalt compete on Saturday and Sunday, and I shalt arrive back at the Monastery very late Sunday night. This departure shalt yet be another means I shalt have to remain Spoiler Free. And it shalt make those Spoiled Rotten fear my sword more. Should I do well, it shalt yet again validate mine skills. And even if I do not, I shalt learn more which wilt make mine skills even better.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Dark minions are like little wind-up toys. You wind them up and set them loose and off they go. Is this what being a parent feels like? And that was not a sniffle! Grand High Dark Overlords don't sniffle over their cunning little Mastermind minions wrecking havoc upon the unenlightened. That would be silly.

High Knight, we shalt miss thine presence whilst thou art gone, but I wish thee many blessing upon thy sojorn, and I pray that thine hand shall forget none of it's skill, and shalt gain much more.

And, Dark Overlord, thee maketh me sevenfold more grateful I am not thy minion. The thought of being compaired to a wind-up toy pleaseth me not.

I think I've got the hang of this...basically, to assert myself as a member, I simply have to talk with all manner of "thee", "thous", and "quoth hes". And then, of course, I must abstain from viewing all spoilers.

I thank thee, narnianerd, for warning me about the coffee. .

wisewoman: I thank thee for thy kindness in granting me pardon for my deed.

Hail to thee, thou fair of face and pure of mind, who seek not to know that which doth only cause distress. I greet thee with all joy.

Verily I have been a wanderer these past months, but now these ponderous walls appear before me as a refuge, wherein I may find peace. My heart doth desire the rest that cometh of ignorance, and I hereby take upon myself this solemn pledge:

I shall turn my eyes from all that which containeth spoilers, excepting only approved movie trailers (which my mind hath not the strength to resist), and that material which showeth what varius Narnians be wearing (that I may attire myself in suitable festal raiment on the glorious day which we eagerly await in solemn fellowship). Aside from these, I shall not gaze, nor look, yea, nor even glance upon that which spoilereth.

Having taken this pledge, I humbly ask thee, brethren and sistren that thou wouldst allow me to be of service in this fair place, in whatever way though deemest suitable. I also beseech ye to hand over a cookie, for my stomach rumbleth and yearneth over that delectable sustenance.

Silva Cantatrix, Humble Petitioner of Fellowship and Generally Useful Person in the Interim until a More Fitting Title be conferred upon her Unspoiled Personhood

Thou art most welcome, Silva Cantatrix, and comest at a most suitable time! For behold! We go to begin our most glorious and holy quest at a time most soon!

*hands Silva a cookie and a cup of cappuccino*

Indeed, thy vow bringest tears to mine eyes! Methinks that my vows should be more suitably defined. I must think on that a while, forsooth.

*scribbles away on her Ballad of St. Euphineas*

Humble Petitioner of Fellowship and Generally Useful Person, we art glad to have thee here. Welcome!

*Is greatly anticipating hearing the esteemed and Inspirational Dramatist declaim her Ballad of St. Euphineas*

I should be glad to taketh any job that furthers the Noble Quest, be it being one of the actual Questers, or talking to mine dryad friends to discourage them from throwing apples at the adventurers, or sending carepackages of Holy Trail™ mix and thermoses of cappuccino. (Though mayhaps the latter wouldst taketh away the glory of surviving on tree bark and gruel. ) In sooth, I shalt be most eager to fill any vacancy that appeareth as the Monastery prepares for this great and noble undertaking.

Thou wilt be sorely missed, High Knight, but we bade thee farewell and hope that ye may teach all who crosseth thy path how swift be the sword of Spoiler-Free Order's Code Enforcement Officer, and learn some new strategies besides.

*Hands the Dark Overlord a box of kleenex* There, there.

Ruby, thou hast got it mostly right, except ye need not abstain from all spoilers. Ye only needeth abstain from some spoilers to be a member of the Monastery. For instanceth, I consider the vision that art the Super Trailer (shouldst one ever be released) to be detestable, but I wilt not shield mine eyes from the sight of normal trailers. In sooth, ye take a personal vow to abstain from whatever ye find to be troublesome and detestable in the form of a Spoiler. Most everyone's vows art different.

*returns wearily to the peaceful Monastery*

I hath been on a journey to a faraway land to visit with my dear sister. 'Twas hard to depart from the Monastery for even those few days, but it had to be done. I hath returned though! What hath passed in my absence?
*waveth to the other monks clad in their monk-ey attire*
I thank thee for thy gifts, flam (the-unofficial-minion-of-the-Wyrm-of-Books)! 'Twas a kind thought.

And speaking of food, I hath just enjoyed a glorious plate of homemade pizza that my mother hath prepared. Mother or no, there is not a single pizza maker I hath tried to date that can compare to her's. And I say this outside the fact that she is my mother. I have pleanty of leftovers to serve me well these next few days.

That soundeth most marvelous! I do wish that I might learn your mother's ways of making such a pizza!
All this talk of food hath indeed distracted from the horrid Spoilers. I commend my fellow monks on their cleverness!

Dryads are but a quiet and peaceful people, but should the day come when swords art drawn, it shalt be known that rose-trees hath thorns.

Hail the Dryad! It warmeth my heart to hear thou speak with such fire! (...perhaps I standeth too close to the fire?) Anywayeth, I stand with all other monks: ready to fight, if it cometh to that dreadful end.

*detects the Treasured-Nephew-Who-Weareth-Green-Socks-On-Tuesdays (lysander)* Wast that not thou name whence thou wast on the quest in times past? Thy uncle wast the Sociable Hermit of Kalamazoo, yes? How fareth he in these recent days?

. . . Me, obsesseth over the Monastery overmuch? I am but fond of reading, 'tis all.

I confesseth that I saveth the glorious Quest of which you speaketh in a document of Word, when it 'twas first chronicled. 'Twas my favorite reading, and still amuseth me greatly!

Our thoughts go with thee as thee depart to a tournament that shalt test thy skills with a blade, Fencer. I pray that it goeth well!

If it needs be that another monk beeth needed on this quest which shalt take place posthaste, I volunteer my services. However, if I art needed to guard the Monastery, I shalt forgo the journey...

Verily, I hath not a title. Wouldst a wiser monk than I please bestow one upon me?

I feareth that this post groweth too long. I shalt return to my meditating.

This poem doth deserve repeating:

Away! Away! the aardvarks call
Us from our tim'dity and all
To seek the man from Kalamazoo,
Not to mention the jug of St. Euphineas, too.
Our noble steeds stride wide and quick
Their manes waving as a graph seismic
Or antennae of an ant forest
In front of us like a host of tourists.
Our lances keen as eagle's eyes,
Our shields as bright as Einstein's wise,
Our swords as free as the U.S.A.,
And all our hearts as stout as a six-lane highway.
~Phosphorous (Illuminating Loremaster)
*trieth to contain her laughter, but faileth* Verily, this beeth priceless!

~Djaq

Anon! Much eventerie hath passed in my absence of meditation! And what quest is this that we set out upon? Gladly would I partake of such an adventure.

Gladly, also do I read of the ancient scrolls of that most beloved kingdom, Old Narniaweb.

Sooth, it gladdeneth mine heart greatly to see the swell of numbers in this Order. Thoughe I am indeede scarcely joined and rescued from my inquities meself, yet still I bit welcome to all those yet newer than I.

Hark!! The High Knight of the Order hath sent a scroll to the Monastery with word of the tournament.

Word hath reached mine ears of more members seeking the solitude away from the effects of the Spoiler. I thank ye, Wisewoman, for acting in my stead and welcoming these former lost souls. I shalt make a glorious return late in the morrow afternoon.

I bringeth word of the tournament and I hath crossed blades with numerous foes. Some I hath defeated, but others hath brought me defeat. Amongst the 57 competitors, I dreweth five others in mine first round. But only one of them I wast able to defeat. So I wast placed 45th out of 57 going into the win or out round, Direct Elimination. I drew the #20 seed, who was heavily favored, but I hath known this foe and kneweth how to defeat him. In a very close match I prevailed in a fierce 13-12 victory that went to sudden death. But in the very next round, I fell to a very strong and tall opponent by a score of 15-6. So I placed 32 out of 57 in a very strong competition. In the morrow, I shalt compete again, but only 30 art expected to compete in this. We shalt see how I do.

Be at peace members of the Order in mine absence.