Slices megaphone in half, with quick cut of his sword, then snaps the rest out of narnianerd's hand and slices it in four while it's still in the air.

Away from here vile tempter. Thou knowest, thou thou not admitest, that our absintation from the Spoiler stated in our vows tis not self torture, but discipline. For we knoweth what is good for the body and good for the mind. Thou claimeth to have All-you-can-eat-buffets, but thy very buffet shalt slow ye down and maketh the into a couch-potato. I can assuredly out eat any of thy kin because the mighty strength I wield with my blade requires mighty resources. We too have food that ye know not of. Our cappucino machines art but what you can see. But the food we eateth requireth not the sweets of Spoiler, but the meat of anticipation of the glorious viewing. Our steaks fine, lean, and tender, and carry not of the fat of the Spoiler which makes ye sick to thy stomach and to thy mind.

So flee from these walls vile tempter or I shalt be required to bear my blade upon thee instead of thy mere megaphone.

Draws his two silly string pistols from his side and prepares to defend himself.

I shall never leave unless you make me, thou art a spoiler free monk, I am not intimidated by your sharp sword or your double bladed tongue. For you know naught of the wonderful spoilers which surround us now, therefore you are inferior to me. Thou claim to eat more then me? My record is five bagels, three pancakes, three sausages, four slices of toast, two eggs and three muffins. I would like to see thou beat that in one meal.

Tis that the best ye have? How canst thou enjoy the Spoiler thou desireth if thou remaineth within the Monastery? For I understandeth the power of the Spoiler more than thee. We of the Order can pull away from a Spoiler at will. But thou cannot. For thy Spoiler is as the Turkish Delight served by the White Witch. By intaking the Spoiler, thou becometh depended on it. Thou must seeketh the Spoiler to get thy Spoiler fix whilst awaiting the glorious release of the film. We of the Order do not have that dependence.

And as for food, thou tempeth me much. For thou I hath never had a huge appetite for breakfast as thou depicteth, I am knowneth for my ability to eat lunch and dinner (dinner and supper for others). Canst thou eat 17 slices of pizza, including crusts, with a large salad, and still have room to spare? Or can thee handle two footlong sub sandwiches, also with room to spare? The one-pound burger along with fries and drink concern me not as well. And hearken, this is not gluttony. I stop when I've had enough.

**Jumps out of character**
I never got into role playing except for here, and this is some of the most fun I've ever had on line. I just can't do this in person, because I can't get myself into character as well.
** Jumps back into character**

So return ye from whence ye came. Thy spoiler shalt not affect those within these hallowed wall. And save thy silly string pistols, for thou shalt need them at a later time. Unarmed, in the past, I hath dodged the spray of a water hose, while in it's range. I hath also dodged the little round balls that have paint filling, wilst not carrying a shield. Ye shalt need much practice with thine aim and faster reflexes than I to keep thy pistols in thy hand before mine sword sends them flying as it did with thy megaphone.

I cannot deny that I am unable to pull away from the spoilers found within our kingdom, but all the same I find it pleasing to me. I shall return to the Spoiled Rotten kingdom to bask in the spoiled ways with my fellow friends there.
But the invitation to enter that place is always open for you and yours!

*Waveth to Wolf and Flambeau and Lady Wanderer, throweth a blanket over the Marshwiggle to muffle the snoring, and frowns darkly at Nerd's detestable silly string pistols*

High Knight, thy mindful devoration of pizza is most inspiring! Verily, I am in awe. Thou is a credit to the Order.

Then from mine other shoulder came a rejoinder: "Don't listen to that guy! He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness! I'm gonna lead you down the path that ROCKS."

That maketh my day.

Wherever thy many meditations may lead ye, we art very glad to see thee!

If my memory dost not fail me, if thou but abstain from even trifles such as promotional cereal boxes, crackers and toilet paper, ye are within the laws of the Monastery take refuge within. And sooth, I should be glad if thou remained Most High Reverend Father, even if that were but thine only Vow. *raises hand* Who's with me?!

But methinks the members of the Order wilt also understand if thy heart cannot reconcile the spoilers thou hath seen with thy duties as High Reverend Father. Verily, I hath difficulty imagining thee amongst the Spoiled Rotten, where they may maketh fun of Monasterial speech patterns and sooth, do not hath such delicious cappuccino, but we wish thou the very best.

If it maketh thou feel any better, I am almost as spoiled as thee. But instead of descending into the darkling depths of the spoiler-ridden world to confirm or debunketh mine fears, I hath chosen to turn my eyes from the tumult so that I may reserve judgment until the Blessed Event cometh. And so, it is here that I meditate, sip cappuccino, and drive from mine mind all fears, in hopes that they shalt not darken my sight for the day when all shalt be revealed. Verily, I believe this is the best road I can taketh at this time, though I know it may not be so for all.

Whatever thou shalt decide upon, please do not be a stranger! In sooth, there wilt always be a mug of cappuccino here for thee.

I QUIT THE OLD ENGLISH ACCENT! ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

Thy Fencer, in my home town I am legendarily known as the kid who ate two pizza pies, two twenty four once bottles of soda, a ham and cheese sandwich and a three Mcdonalds double cheese burger. My stomach is very adapt at digesting junk foods quickly.

As for mine spoilers. We are low on new news. Hah, funny twist on words there. Anyways I'm bored so I am tempting yall with the awesomeness of spoliers.

Thou wouldst indeed give me a run for my money. I assumeth that thou art in the age range of between 15 and 18. And just about any male in that age range shouldst be expected to eat that size quantaties. We shant know if thou canst continue that 5-10 years down the road. Mine appetite hath just recently slowed down and I stand at the age of 27. I art still capable of eating two full foot-long subs, but I no longer need to.

However, no matter what thouest say about thy eating capability, mine cometh from my father, who can still out eat many teens in thier prime. And he is of the age of 60. At my age, my father would down a one-pound hamburger, a chef salad (which is big enough for a meal as it is), finish off all his friends dishes, then two hours later, pull out his original lunch, 17 peanut butter sandwiches and down all that. Tis truly a miracle that my mother hath been able to feed both of us and not run out of money.

Ah, the talk of food hast done wonders. For it hath silenced ye about thy boasting of Spoilers. Tis just one of the many ways we of the Order pass the time while waiting for the glorious viewing. Tis many topics to discuss than just which Spoiler we shalt avoid by our vow. And the discussion of food is always a blessed one. For I noticed that it even keepeth thy kin from discussing the vileness of the Spoiler. And speaking of food, I hath just enjoyed a glorious plate of homemade pizza that my mother hath prepared. Mother or no, there is not a single pizza maker I hath tried to date that can compare to her's. And I say this outside the fact that she is my mother. I have pleanty of leftovers to serve me well these next few days.

Mph? Hmmft thsn thng fluffn Meeeeh!

HAHHH! Now I can take a breath!

Good Dryad, please! Next time don't tuck in the blanket!

Now whats' all this fuss about someone wanting to leave because he saw some spoilers? The high reverend fellow, the Doctor? Now I suppose that does make us all guilty and unfit now doesn't it? Guess we all should be packing it in, and calling it game as not a one of us can rightly say they haven't seen or heard a thing of spoilers.

Sits down on blanket. Takes hat off.

Guess what I'm saying is this. Even if you make a muddle of thing you seem right sorry enough to stay around.

Could say more I suppose, but then I would most like just confuse people, if I haven't already.

Well I've said my peace. I best go see if that dark lord fella has tried making any more security gadgets.
9Mumbles to self on the way out) At least I should exercise his mutant muts. Getting so fat on the scraps on the floor, probably died of heart attacks by now.

I cannot top your father, however I am not between the ages of fifteen and eighteen, rather between the ages of twelve and fourteen, and I weigh one hundred and thirty pounds and am five foot six and a half. Imagine what I will be able to eat once I hit full growth period. Then I may be able to best him.

ANYWAYS! You have destracted me from my original quest! I am preparing to deliver the final blow. You see this link?> viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1974
Well that link contains the answers to ALL your questions. Click on it to be spoiled.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twirls pistols around, causing them to look like two little blurs of silver plastic then proceeds to spray silly string on everything and everybody including Fencer. Then runs out the door, hops on Sarge before riding off towards the Lair.

I guess (or guesseth ) this is the camp I fall in. I see I'm in good company

Welcome Shadowlander. Thou art most welcome to enter these hallowed walls.

Cleans up silly string attack with vacuum cleaner designed to only suck up silly string. (Hey, we use it to party as well.)

Rumor has it that the vile Lair of the Spoiler Rotten hath prepared ion cannons shouldst it become open war. As High Knight, I shant approve of a course that will lead us to open war. At least a course of our actions that will lead us to war. But if the Spoiled Rotten make an effort to attack, we shalt defend these hallowed walls. And shouldst they make the first move, they shalt know that we of the Order art as sleeping giants. We prefer peace as we anticipate the glorious viewing, but if it cometh to war, we shalt be a force they dread to face. Plus, they also knoweth not that we too possess technology beyond our hallowed wall's appearance. For should their ion cannon fire, they shalt issue thier ultimate demise with our reflector shield.

*returneth the wave of the good Dryad* Verily, thou dost warm the cockles of mine heart with thy welcome.

Sooth, a vaccum cleaner that cleaneth only silly string? A marvelous invention! If there is any mess remaining, might I have a turn? After that, High Knight, I place myself under thy command to defend this place from any attack.

Timid am I as I show myself in this place. I am not a member of the spoiled rotten, nor do I ever wish to be. I am a simple Pilgrim, but I hath found myself strangely afraid of the monster that is the spoiler. It is such a problem to me that I humbly submit my request to join your wise group within these hallowed walls.

(Although it is easier to talk amongst the Pilgrims. We hath given up on this language.)

I come with good tidings from the land of the spoiled Rotten kingdoms with a plea for all you weary pilgrims to join me and my fellows in the spoiled land of spoilermania!
I invite you to partake of the spoilers which flow from our walls and surround our towers!

Welcome to these hallowed halls and hallowed walls, He Who Haileth from the Shadowlands and Life of Winter! Verily, we art glad to have thee among our numbers.

I come with good tidings from the land of the spoiled Rotten kingdoms with a plea for all you weary pilgrims to join me and my fellows in the spoiled land of spoilermania!
I invite you to partake of the spoilers which flow from our walls and surround our towers!

. . . "Or else we'll ionize your precious cappuccino maker?" But mayhaps I speaketh too harshly. I am certain thy intentions art good, though thou art grievously misguided.

I, too, feel the distant rumbleth of war in the tranquil hills that surroundeth the Monastery, and if mine mud-clad Dryad feet tell me correctly, it cometh from the general direction of the Spoiled Rotten Empire. Dryads are but a quiet and peaceful people, but should the day come when swords art drawn, it shalt be known that rose-trees hath thorns.

*Got a terrific kicketh out of the eating competition waged betwixt the High Knight and the spoiled Nerd*