*wearing her blindfold, blindly stumbles into one of the Monasterians, jerks back, and puts up her blindfold so that she can see*

My apologies for stumbling into you! As you can see, I have been making good use of this blindfold, for I wish not to drown in spoilers.

What's this? The Monastery dwellers are out questing for the Marshmallow Tree? I have heard tell of this legendary tree, though I know not much of it than you yourselves. In any case, this quest has sparked my curiosity about it. Perhaps I also shall have to see if I can find any knowledge of the whereabouts of this Tree to share. All I know from the stories of it that I have heard is that it is west of the Monastery, somewhere beyond the mountains. So at least while you have little information, if you stay on the path you are on, you know you are on the right track.

The minions have ventured out of the Lair and had a campfire, good Silver-Tongued Speaker? Is this a new trend? Does the openness of the outside air call to you?

'Tis all right, Lady Galadriel. No offense taken.

I wouldst also enjoy an explanation of the Marshmallow Tree. Do tell.

Yea, but the minions will only know what we do not know (and prefer not to know) for 10 more days, if mine counting faculties be correct.

Thank goodness.

Unfortunately, all I know of this tree, as I said, is that you all are on the right track, and that it is somewhere beyond the mountains. Perhaps I hadn't been clear on that. And so I am afraid I am not much help on the matter of finding it but to confirm that this noble quest is on the right track.
There are legends that may hold useful knowledge, but I cannot recall many of the details of them offhand ( ) and to read them would require looking up a library and searching through its ancient records -- and I have not seen a library. I don't suppose anyone else has?

Of course there is a library in the Monastery! We built it so that it was easily accessible with a cup of cappuccino or tea, so it's just down the hall from the kitchen. I particularly like all the built in cupholders on the shelves so that there is no excuse for spilling on the books.

Hath any of mine fellow questers heard a low moan coming from the mountains we approacheth? Or perhaps a sighing, or a wailing? I hath heard them all thricefold and very audible, but then, the sight and hearing of the dryad ist not quite like that of the human. It maketh me wonder if we art coming to territory that ist guarded by phantoms, or perhaps a giant with indigestion.

I have heard nought, for I am a sound sleeper, but I fear neither phantoms or harps strung to the sorrow of the wind, for the first can do no harm to corporeal beings, and the second are mere inanimate objects that canst be poked at with mine trusty stick.

However, giants with indigestion can be most... uncivil hosts. So if any of those visit, pray, don't wake me up until they have gone.

(Sweeps into the hall, dramatically billowing the hallowed, colorful and sacred-symbol-emblazoned ascetic robes surrounding mine humbly exalted person, whereupon I stop, survey these blessed chambers with their flickering torches, and, for a few seconds, hold mine head in shame.)

Bless me, Father, for I hath sinned.

Or wait. I am the Father mineself, that is, the Most High Reverend Father of the Holy Order of the Spoiler-Free Monastery.

(Behold, smacks a gong very hard! -- BRRRRRZZZZZIIIISSSSSSHHH.)

And yet, woe is me! For due not only to the unfortunate constraints of time, but to the weakness in mine own soul, spirit, body, mind and strength, I hath not been in attendance in the very Holy Order that once wast mine to oversee, nay, to delight in since its august founding (lo, actually November) in 2005! Alas! and alack, besides!

Please do pardon my intrusion, when thou art all were getting on so well and going on with thine activities, blessings, Questings, conversation and meditations upon the sacred art of the avoidance of Spoilers.

Alack again! for with mine eyne I hath indeed beheld many Spoilers, yet perhaps even I, leader in these hallowed stone halls with stone walls, may find forgiveness. For not only doth I repent and clothe myself in the great righteousness that is only revealed through repentance, I doth also have great and mighty excuses for mine wanderings. It didst seem good to me, with many worryings and tremblings in mine heart, to partake of some spoilers, lest the film turn out to be a great and terrible morass of movie muck and thus the world be overturned in fire and water, and the sun appear dark in mine eyes. Woe! woe! whoa! for the "book C.S. Lewis didst not write" and "green mist" elements hath seen revolting to me!

Yet now I hath seen better of the film, and canst repent, not only of the spoilers -- and yet of this "repentance" one mayest even say that this wasn't really a sin, and thus I might suggest I am sorry only for how mine actions appeared to have been sinful -- but for thinking ill of the film.

Still and yet, canst anyone forgive me for mine oversight?

It doth occur to be, though, that mayhaps I only need forgive myself. Herewith is the most important person to forgive. Only then canst I unblock the Water Chakra. And only then canst I enter the Avatar State and even therein maintain full control of mine mind and faculties.

(Forgives self, whereupon I begin to hum.) That wast easy. Dost thou not love man-made religion, whereupon the self ist always at center?

Now welcome me back to the Order, because I art so humble and holy, and may there be much celebrating, and pouring of the harmonized energetic karmas from the automatic Monastery cappuccino machine!

I art quite confused, O Reverend Father, yet I forgive thee as well.

You do seem to fall into temptation quite a lot. But then, so do we all.

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the Beatific Vision..." -or something like that.

*jumps onto the queste bandwagon*

I heard the moans, O Greatest of Dryads! Methinks they soundedest more like indigestion, but I didst indeed hear them!

All is forgiven, Reverend Father.

I have not heard any strange sounds in the night; but then, my dog/horse and I snore. Are you sure you were not just hearing us?

I forgiveth thou Reverend Father, if I can...for I am no monk (admittedly has been quite spoiled as of late, more zan ze minions )

Nay good winter 'twas not either of you... perhaps I should send out ze Great Calling Howl.... to findeth out if it shalt answer me...

Plug your ears, zis is going to be loud enough to give me a verily nasty headache...

AAAHHHOOOORRRROOOOORRRRROOOOOOOOAAAHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(*howl echoes across ze mountains and valleys)

*Is currently getting a mighty kicketh from the awesome mental image of our High Reverend waterbending cappuccino* Methinks when I return from this good quest, I shall paint a mural of this pwnful vision on one of the Monastery's many hallowed walls.

It is good that thou art back, Reverend! Verily, thou and thy majestic smacking of gongs wast sorely missed. Hath thee an extra-extra large cappuccino.

Lady Galadriel, shouldst thee run across any information about the fabled tree or fabled cave or even the weird wailings in the magnificent library Lady Wanderer hath spoken of, do send a pigeon with a note about thy findings. Or perhaps even hop on one of the racing goats and come thyself, if thee believes it to be urgent!

. . . For those of you who are wondering how I am speaking to monks at the Monastery when I am far away on a quest. . . *holds up very shiny object* . . . Magic mirror. Which, by the way, all questers art welcome to use for communication, ranting, or the ordering of a burger and fries.

How excellent thou shouldst join us, Little Girl of Sweeetness! ( ) I hope ye hath brought food, for mine goat seems to hath eaten most of the rations. In sooth, it warmeth my heart that others hath heard the strange cries. If I must be crazy, then I wilt be crazy with friends. For did not St. Euphineas say that insanity loveth company? But verily, methinks we art not hearing things. But what we hear. . . I cannot say.

Life of Winter, thy snoring of thyself and thy Dog that is Almost a Horse didst indeed strike terror in mine heart afore I knew what it was (I am rather highstrung for a dryad ), but the sounds I hath heard art different; they seem to come from the mountains, perhaps even the earth itself. And, ahem, that is exactly where we art headed. But of course monks doth not scare this easily.

Oooh, ist the Noble Wolf call blasting? *Claps hands delightedly* How exciting! This is just like one of those cryptozoological expeditions I've seen on yon TV set. (. . . Which never seem to findeth anything of interest. )

*Listens intently, but hears only echoes of the howl*

Verily, I begin to wonder if we art not dealing with a someone, but rather. . . a something.

*Cue melodramatic music*

Oooh, ist the Noble Wolf call blasting? *Claps hands delightedly* How exciting! This is just like one of those cryptozoological expeditions I've seen on yon TV set. (. . . Which never seem to findeth anything of interest. )

*'Tis estatic that she ran across someone else who knows what cryptozoology means *

I love cryptozoology!

Mmm... I do not heareth anything either... Perhaps call blasting only works if they be in a similar species.... Perhaps 'tis a sasquatch? Me hope 'tis a nice sasquatch...

Oh and fear not Good Dryad, I shall go and look for some food for you if you wish, I generally hunt my own anyway...

*peers into the Honorable Dryad's magic mirror*

Greetings Reverend Father! Fear not - thou art forgiven! I was once a victim of the spoiler myself, and I knowest how strong their temptations pull. Hark! Only a mere week stands between us and that happy moment where we might take off our blindfolds and behold the splendor of the movie! (Unless thy name is Lady Wanderer and thou has seen it already. )

*listens nervously* Oh dear. I hear the strange noise again. 'Tis a rumbling, somewhere between a growl and an earthquake, me thinks. Doth thou smell anything, Good Wolf? Thy sense of smell far exceeds mine. All I can detect is the sharp tang of pine needles - perhaps we are in the middle of a pine forest? I'd taketh off my blindfold and see for myself, but if this new threat has its origin with the Spoiled Rotten, I'd be foolish to be caught with my defenses down.

Whoa there, Sandy. Settle down. 'Tis all right. 'Tis nothing but the wind...I hope.

Good Morterve all thy monks. I come to thee, and thou glorious monastery, to beg forgiveness of my sins. For some time now, I hast been neutral in mine spoilers. I claimed to be a pilgrim, balancing on thist finest line of good and evil. But now....as the time of the movie release draws nye, I do not wish to behold any more spoilers. I cover mine eyes, and run from them. I wish to seek refuge here in this wonderful place, and wash myself in the waters of thy sparkling fountain.

I ask thou forgiveness for the spoilers I have seen (or heard), and wonderth if thy will accept me into thy home. I do give my word to not indulge in any further spoilers released upon this website (Or any other) until the time of this wonderous movie arrives.

Thy humblest servant,

~Lover of Narnia

*appears in cloud of dust from looking at scrolls unread for many a century and looks into the mirror*

I apologize for taking so long! Oh, by the way, aren't magical mirrors convenient? I have one similar to it.

I have been reading the legends in the Monastery library regarding the Marshmallow Tree, and such that should hopefully help those who are questing. There are “rules” to it; one of the most important being that to take from the tree, one’s intention must be to enhance something else, thereby improving on it, (such as the glorious Monastery cappuccino), not just intending to partake of only the marshmallows themselves in large quantity because of their wondrous taste. The legends confirm that they are, indeed, as the good Dryad wrote,

the most ethereal and resplendent marshmallow known to mortals. So pure and sweet are they, the dreaded spoiler dissolves in their beatific presence. They art extra-extra jumbo sized, too!

The legends vary somewhat in where the Tree supposedly stands, but they all agree that it is in the general vicinity of not far beyond the mountains that those questing are soon to cross. Continue traveling to the west. You shall find it in a large forest. While the trees may all look identical, even with fake marshmallows (it is a safeguard as a deterrent to those with unnoble intentions to keep them from finding the real tree), the real tree's scent will make it (hopefully ) unmistakable. But beware of the forest, for one could get lost in it and not return. A compass or knowledge of the stars would be handy. Perhaps that is where the "keys hidden in the cave to help find the tree" come in?

The Marshmallow Tree is not able to be destroyed, although its counterfeits are. It has been there for many a century, but according to the legends, only those with a noble reason to find it have found it as it flourishes with unfailing bounty.

I'm afraid I can find nothing in the legends about "weird wailing" in the mountains. Perhaps it is only wild animals, or a giant with indigestion, or simply the wind, after all. (Or perhaps it is dragons, or some enemy searching for the tree.) But I believe that the reason for which you are searching for this tree is a very noble cause and I am assured that the brave Monastery dwellers will be able to find it by the time the Blessed Day arriveth arrives!

I hope all of this is to every Monasterian's (made-up word ) pleasing. If any one else wishes to examine or re-examine the legends and correct me on a misinterpretation, there is a sizable stack of books (as well as scrolls) which I left on one of the back tables. I wouldn't mind going over them again myself. Of course I have somewhat edited this post (suffice it to say that I want to make sure I have interpreted the legends correctly. )

My dear monks!

*takes hood off and stands next to the cappuccino machine after pouring herself some, contentedly holding a blue mug that could contain a third-world country*

Your peaceful, conversational minion is here again. How is everyone? ONLY 5 days until we will all be spoiled rotten for good. (Or, 6 days, in the case of Lady Galadriel.) And then we start all over again with SC, I hope...

I have been away far too long. What is this strange noise I hear?

Lately I have not been indulging in as many spoilers. Even a minion like me does have some limits. Then there is the fact that there are so MANY spoilers. Due to time constraints, I can't possibly watch them all. We are not so different, you and I... But I am still spoiled.

I await the glorious day when it will no longer whether we are monks nor minions, but when we shall all be moviegoers.

Yours sincerely,
-The Fireflower of the Mountain
The Conversational Minion
[with a no longer spoilerish avatar. ]

EDIT:

I shalt also try one of these 'spoiler free' cookies. Ist that something like 'sugar free' or 'gluten free' perchance? Or ist that a reassurance that no image or idea hath been baked inside?

It is probably the last option, my dear Meltintalle, but if you prefer sugar & gluten-free, then the cookies can be those as well. Or there are brownies and ice cream, also spoiler-free. Choose what you like, and enjoy.

Alas, that it would be 5 days for me, MountainFireflower. But 1 extra day is not the end of the world...I think. It is hard to believe that at the end of this next week, we will be viewing It! (You know...It!)

I await the day as well when monk, minion, and pilgrim alike are combined in their knowledge (or Spoiled Rottenness) of the movie. Then we will all undoubtedly be flooding the forum No One Unspoiled Should Enter (even if I have entered it a couple of times ). What fun that day will be!

Greetings to you good monks.

Finally finished with my winterizing chores back at the wig-wam. Good thing too since the snow has started to fall.
Did I read the last few posts right, that the good Dryad has embarked on a quest? Well, that is news. Unfortunatly I am unable to be of much help, unless you can figure a way to pass smoked eel through that fancy mirrore. Probably find it indegestable anyway.
As for indegestion. If it is giants you hear be sure not to get in the way if you see them playing cockseys. If they are throwing stones (boulders for us) get out of play as quickly as possible. If they do start throwing them at you just walk away calmly. They have very bad aim.
I must admit to being a little excited. (don't tell the other Marsh-Wiggles ) After all, the movie will play in our local theatre in less than a week. Unfortunatly commitments keep me from seeing the opening night showing
Well I must be off. I have no doubt that the mutant mutts have not been walked, and been getting stuffed with table scraps. But I shall be back later.