Posted by: @courtenay

Am I the only Lewis fan who feels that way about it?? (Don't worry, I won't be upset if I am. )

You are not! It was my thought exactly.

Posted by: @courtenay

I haven't read that one yet, but from the excerpts I've seen quoted, it's clearly heart-wrenching

It is. I was brought to tears in the first page.

Posted by: @courtenay

while going into frustratingly very little detail about the process of his conversion and what REALLY changed his thinking, and how and why, in the end. Yes, I know it was God — as a former agnostic turned Christian, I've been there myself. But most of what I would have truly been interested to hear about Lewis's own transformation either wasn't there at all, or else was barely touched on.

I sometimes wonder if the reason Lewis does not go into depth on it is because, quite simply, there isn't anything of note there. If I were to attach a point to my "conversion", which would be hard to do, I would say it is the moment that I realized that no theory is inherently provable, and that to some degree everything comes down to confirmation bias: I made the conscious decision that this would be my belief, essentially, I chose it, and therefore, that was that. There was no earth-shattering revelation, no process of breaking down previously held convictions and rebuilding a logical argument to result in conversion: it simply was a choice. How that choice impacted my framework and everyday operations is much more interesting and can be drawn out as logical progressions and etc, and therefore is more interesting (and easier to write about).

Writing about "conversion" for me reads as being entirely glib, just a step above flipping a coin to determine an action. Because I resent that feeling, I tend away from wanting to write about it or talk about it, instead preferring what came after: the implications of that are much better than the implications of "just deciding". Depending on Lewis' experience, he might have felt that whenever he tried to write explicitly about the decisions that led up to conversion he was not able to give it the gravity and aplomb that he felt was due it, and therefore chosen to be vague or avoid it altogether, when possible.  

I've been wanting to read this one for a while. I need to finish up The Four Loves in the meantime, however.