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[Closed] Inspired by Narnia - Poetry by ThePrincessSpy

theprincessspy
(@theprincessspy)
NarniaWeb Regular

~ Eustace, in dragon form, cowering away from the Lion who approaches, every paw thudding on the ground in majesty. ~
(The first part is in Eustace's POV, the second part in Aslan's.)

IF ONE CAN FALL TOO FAR FROM GRACE
EUSTACE
If one can fall too far from grace
Then I of all should know
For all I am is the antonym
Of the goodness in Your gaze

If one can fall too far from grace
Then I of all should know
For You are all that's worthy
Overwhelming love ablaze

If one can fall too far from grace
Then I of all should know
All my grandest thoughts
Just rubble, just cliche

If one can fall too far from grace
Then I of all should know
Which is why I beg of you to leave
Which is why I creep away

If one can fall too far from grace
Then I of all should know
So do not try to comfort me
There's nothing you can say

ASLAN
If one can fall too far from grace
Then, my child, I would know
For I am the One who makes the rules
I am the One without mistakes

If one can fall too far from grace
Then, beloved, I would know
For you the Table broke in half
For you was that woeful day

If one can fall too far from grace
Then, dear one, I would know
No heart so far I cannot reach
No wrong so dark I can't erase

If one can fall too far from grace
Then, chosen one, I would know
For grace is Mine to give
And Mine to take is shame

If one can fall too far from grace
Then, dear heart, I would know
I choose to rain down mercy
Every time I shake my mane

A/N: *sigh* I wrote this several weeks ago (before the movie came out) and was much happier with it then. Now I'm not all that impressed, but, here you go anyway!


I Am An Authoress Blog
I answer to tps.
Avi by Wunderkind_Lucy ~ Sigi by campgirl

Topic starter Posted : December 27, 2010 8:00 am
MountainFireflower
(@mountainfireflower)
Member Moderator Emeritus

WOW, tps! This literally gave me chills. I can't even express how much I loved it. You definitely have a gift in poetry, and I'd like to request more if you have it! :) I think it reflects Eustace & Aslan's relationship in the book more than in the movie, but it is still simply beautiful.

I especially like your rhyming style. It had a natural cadence, but it didn't seem too sing-songy or Dr. Seuss-ish. :p (Dr. Seuss isn't bad, but it wouldn't fit with this type of poem.)

Your word pictures were beautiful as well. My favorite stanza is the last one, where he says "I choose to rain down mercy every time I shake my mane." That just put a gorgeous image in my mind of a smiling Aslan raining down sparks of mercy. The feeling behind your words is far deeper than a lot of poetry I've read, and it truly is the picture of grace.

Again, I absolutely love it, more than I can say, and I definitely think you have a gift.

av by dot

Posted : December 27, 2010 9:37 am
Windsong
(@windsong)
NarniaWeb Junkie

I enjoyed reading your poem very much. I agree, you have strong potential and I encourage you to continue writing and posting more of your poems in the future.

Wonderful effort,
Windsong

NW friends and siblings...AliceLuna, Liberty Hoffman, Lucy of Narnia, Lyneya,
Miss Rosario, MistressofDawn, Narnia Fanatic, Pogginfan, Silver the Wanderer, Smartypants, The Rose-Tree Dryad, TheValiantLucy, wild rose, Winterlife and Wolfloversk.

Posted : December 27, 2010 11:12 am
theprincessspy
(@theprincessspy)
NarniaWeb Regular

Thank you, oh so much, MountainFireFlower! Your comments meant so much to me! :) Yes, it was based more on the book than the movie (do not get me started on the brevity of that scene in the movie...). But thank you for your confidence - I shall certainly post more if any more come to mind. :)

Windsong, your comments are indeed inspiring, especially considering you are rather a pioneer and legend in the Narnia-fan-poetry department. :) Thank you for your encouragement to post more; I shall do so soon when the muse takes me. :)

~theprincessspy


I Am An Authoress Blog
I answer to tps.
Avi by Wunderkind_Lucy ~ Sigi by campgirl

Topic starter Posted : January 9, 2011 9:07 am
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