I don't think I agree with your analysis of Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump is actually very similarly structured to VDT, the central thread (the relationship with Jenny), is underdeveloped, and not particularly compelling.

Not compelling? Maybe for you it wasnt, but I thought it was done well and the ending was especially touching.

Might be one of those things I'd have to be a guy to understand.

Okay, I want to talk about a pet peeve of mine, people who say that VDT was enjoyable, or good enough, but who complain that it fell far short of the "great" movie that it could have been. These people never go into specifics. I personally don't see how VDT could ever have been a great feature film. Pretty-good/not-too-bad is about as much as we should have expected.

C.S. Lewis did not write the Narnia series with the intention that it would ever be made into film. He did not give VDT, specifically, the sort of plot structure that would lend itself to a feature film. Also, in the book, C.S. Lewis' witty, insightful narration provides a lot of the thrust and coherence to the book, not the action or dialogue, which is what you see in a movie.

Now I don't want to hear people trying to explain to me what a great book it was. I'll concede that VDT was a wonderful book, a masterpiece of children's literature. I'll go you one better and say that, in the right hands, it could form the basis of the superlative mini-series. You wouldn't even need to make drastic changes from the book, just a bit of trimming here and a bit of embellishment there, like they did with LWW.

Basically, I want to read a treatment. Pretend that you are in the process of trying to organize pre-production for the film VDT. I want to hear a detailed movie plot synopsis, with possibly some bits of dialogue and descriptions of set pieces thrown in. If you were going to turn VDT into a truly great movie, given that you are handicapped by the absence of a narrator and 2.5 hour time limit, how would you go about it?

All right, I'm taking the bait. And hopefully eating it, too .

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Plot Synopsis: Edmund and Lucy Pevensie, along with their cousin Eustace, are thrown back into the world of Narnia. Caspian, now king of Narnia, is sailing east on the ocean to find the seven lost Lords of Telmar. However, this noble-minded journey takes on new significances for all of them as the sailors travel further eastward towards the edge of the world and possibly, to Aslan's Country.

1. Caspian: has to re-establish his lordship over the Lone Islands, which have drifted from their former loyalty.

The Lone Islands: A fair amount, but not too much, of time should be shown once the Ps and E are on the DT, establishing what I basically said in the synopsis. 'Dawn Treader' lands on 'calm' side of the island. Caspian, Lucy, Edmund, Eustace, Reepicheep and a few of the crew are on land. Caspian orders the crew to seek fresh water while he and co. scout the land from the top of a hill. He does not intend to wander off by himself. They meet Pug and story proceeds as book shows it. Caspian DOES NOT reveal his identity to Pug (silly movie!).

This takes up a good deal of movie time, however it accomplishes several things: Caspian's character arc (which is him growing as king and having to hold his domain); they resupply etc and Lucy gets new clothes; we learn about what might be further east. This furthers the mystery and suspense of story. NOBODY knows what lies eastward.

2. Eustace: must really show how much a bratty and self-centered he is, and then transform him.

Dragon/Deathwater Island: Condensing these two islands made the most sense of any of the choices the scriptwriters had to make. Working with what they had, here's my take. First: we need to have the storm sequence. Eustace sick and writing in Journal. DT loses several water casks in storm (somebody hadn't tied them down). Then we need to have the sequence where there is no wind for several days and everyone gets thirsty. Eustace tries to steal water etc., and the next day land is sighted.

What this sequence does is firmly establish Eustace's character. It also lets us know how dangerous it is for anyone to sail past the Lone Islands: the fact that there is NOTHING out there for leagues upon leagues upon leagues. It is, in fact, a perilous journey.

PROBLEMATIC SCENE: the Undragoning of Eustace. I've thought about this hard and I freely admit that doing it as it is in the book would be pretty hard. However, there MUST be a better way than the one they came up with for the movie. For one thing, I would use the conversation between Edmund and Eustace in the book to help me out on this: Eustace can be reminiscing, and we therefore do not have to see the whole undragoning in its unflinching gory glory. What I would do: inter-cut scenes of 1) Dragon Eustace trying to claw off his skin, 2) Aslan shows up. Eustace wants him to tear off the skin---but we don't show it. 3) Aslan drags a de-scaled Dragon Eustace and pulls him into the nearby pool of water. Eustace comes up as a boy.

What this accomplishes is a very deep and heart-felt transformation of Eustace. We still shy away from the "Horror Movie" skin-ripping, but we don't compromise on what actually happens or what it means. We get his just-spit-it-out-and-say-it account of it to Edmund, who can relate to him the most of anyone.

3. Lucy: Lucy surprises audience by not being as perfect as she was in LWW and PC. She is *gasp* actually human.

Magician's Island: In the book we might often feel that Lucy is "Aslan's Fave" and that she can do no wrong. She actually DOES, even in Prince Caspian, but that's small potatoes compared to this. Lucy is growing up and now has friends, and therefore the temptation she feels to hear what her friends are are saying about her is very real and relatable. I would emphasize this temptation in the movie over the beauty one because, first of all, it simplifies that whole complicated mess about Lucy ripping out a page and reading the spell later. Also, she substitutes a smaller sin for a big one to make herself feel better. I don't know about anyone else, but I relate to someone being tempted by what others are saying about them MORE than the silly "be yourself" stuff that we're fed through just about every single movie.

PROBLEMATIC SCENE?: The Dufflepuds capture Caspian and co. Because there is no Gael (because there is no silly green mist!), and because Caspian is not a perfect idiot they do not sleep on shore, the dufflepuds take the king and company hostage in plain daylight (which they can do because they're invisible!). It's not always clear in the book, but the dufflepuds actually DO invite Caspian and co. into the house and they have supper. Therefore, the crew does feel relatively comfortable, if a bit flummoxed, about the whole situation.

What this whole sequence on the island does is give us Lucy's character arc, shows us something dangerous (invisible beings with weapons! and an evil magician!) and turns it on its head. We are also supposed to feel pretty weirded out by seeing an English country house on this island out in the middle of absolutely NOWHERE. Toss the shrubbery and give me plain cut grass, please.

Those are my three islands. What I think Lewis is doing with each is giving us a character arc in each. We get character development throughout, but a mini-arc at each island as well as adventure. What the film had was a sloppy mess: everyone was being vaguely tempted by something really cheesy. There was no terror in it nor were we fooled for a minute that they were going to really give in. In the book Lucy actually DOES give in to temptation, but the book doesn't give us this over-dramatic:....and now you are going to turn into a sea serpent because you were TEMPTED!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

No. Lucy cannot take back what she did by listening to that conversation. She ruined her friendship with that girl. ButAslan doesn't maul her for it. Lewis didn't believe in the karma thing.

The End: because each island is a character arc for different people, we can become invested in who the characters are. We can relate to Caspian who is king by seeing the danger he is in by being captured at the LI and not being able to reveal his identity. We can also be angry at the injustice of the slave trade which a corrupt governor is turning a blind eye to for the sake of profit, and be joyful in how Caspian overthrows this guy, abolishes slavery, and re-claims the LI for Narnia. When we get to the Edge of the World, we can really cry with Eustace at leaving. Being sentimental at the end only works if all we've experienced before has been emotionally gripping and exhausting (in a good way). We get the character arc through the adventure, or vice versa. It's almost as if Lewis knew what he was doing .

I like how you did a KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) attack on the plot structure. It would certainly make pacing a lot easier. So your idea is to make each island an intensive emotional study of one specific character, and the personal conflict associated with them.

I think if you are going to do that, you would have to start setting up the character arc during the part of the voyage that precedes the island. Caspian's theme is resisting the corruption that can come with power; ruling people instead of exploiting them. During the voyage leading up to the Lone Islands, the story can focus on Caspian, his pride in his ship, his awe of Lucy and Edmund and their stories of the golden age. His sense of responsibility to the men who were loyal to his father. That last part would give the central plot more meaning.

The part leading up to Dragon-water island should focus on Eustace, his selfishness and greediness and his thoughts in his diary.

The part leading up to Magician's Island should focus on Lucy and her desire to be liked and popular. I know in the book, the thread was the general temptation to let go of your values in an attempt to please others (represented in brilliant metaphor by the invisible, yay-saying dufflepuds), not just Lucy's struggle, but it would give the sub-plot more power if the focus was predominantly on one character. Thus, the scene with the magician's book would be the climax of a plot line, rather than just a moment.

The only way to make a completely episodic story work is if the individual episodes have an enormous amount of power and resonance, like in my personal all-time favorite drama "The Best Years of Our Lives." They can't just be adventure stories, they have to be deep emotional journeys. I'm still not sure this would work, but it's possible.

You do have a gaping plot hole in your treatment though. You have Bern living happily in the Lone Islands, as in the book. You have Octesian and Restimar dead on Dragon-water island. But you cut out Dark Island and Ramandu's Island, and didn't provide an alternate explanation for the fates of the last four lords.

.......
2. Eustace: must really show how much a bratty and self-centered he is, and then transform him.

Dragon/Deathwater Island: Condensing these two islands made the most sense of any of the choices the scriptwriters had to make. Working with what they had, here's my take. First: we need to have the storm sequence. Eustace sick and writing in Journal. DT loses several water casks in storm (somebody hadn't tied them down). Then we need to have the sequence where there is no wind for several days and everyone gets thirsty. Eustace tries to steal water etc., and the next day land is sighted.

What this sequence does is firmly establish Eustace's character. It also lets us know how dangerous it is for anyone to sail past the Lone Islands: the fact that there is NOTHING out there for leagues upon leagues upon leagues. It is, in fact, a perilous journey.

PROBLEMATIC SCENE: the Undragoning of Eustace. I've thought about this hard and I freely admit that doing it as it is in the book would be pretty hard. However, there MUST be a better way than the one they came up with for the movie. For one thing, I would use the conversation between Edmund and Eustace in the book to help me out on this: Eustace can be reminiscing, and we therefore do not have to see the whole undragoning in its unflinching gory glory. What I would do: inter-cut scenes of 1) Dragon Eustace trying to claw off his skin, 2) Aslan shows up. Eustace wants him to tear off the skin---but we don't show it. 3) Aslan drags a de-scaled Dragon Eustace and pulls him into the nearby pool of water. Eustace comes up as a boy.

What this accomplishes is a very deep and heart-felt transformation of Eustace. We still shy away from the "Horror Movie" skin-ripping, but we don't compromise on what actually happens or what it means. We get his just-spit-it-out-and-say-it account of it to Edmund, who can relate to him the most of anyone.........

The End: because each island is a character arc for different people, we can become invested in who the characters are. We can relate to Caspian who is king by seeing the danger he is in by being captured at the LI and not being able to reveal his identity. We can also be angry at the injustice of the slave trade which a corrupt governor is turning a blind eye to for the sake of profit, and be joyful in how Caspian overthrows this guy, abolishes slavery, and re-claims the LI for Narnia. When we get to the Edge of the World, we can really cry with Eustace at leaving. Being sentimental at the end only works if all we've experienced before has been emotionally gripping and exhausting (in a good way). We get the character arc through the adventure, or vice versa. It's almost as if Lewis knew what he was doing .

I love your treatment CSS. Your concept of the undragoning is very near to how I wish it had been depicted onscreen, all completely PG too, and leaving it to the viewers' imaginations. And the feeling of life on the boat with short rations/water/fear of the unknown. Not nearly enough scenes showing that.

Oh dear.... (*is in the middle of a lab report that's due tomorrow, but seriously has to post here*) Ok where to start...

1) I would have made it a bit longer...actually a full half hour longer.
2) I would have dropped the green mist plot, and made Gael the daughter of one of the last three Lords rather than Rhince...who's mother died and was staying with her uncle, or Rhince, or somebody... and then stowed away etc. That would have helped the audience feel closer to the lords.
3) I would have used the same cameras... and kept Caspian's accent
4) I would have made dragon Eustace less...shiny
5) I would have kept the end with Eustaces diary entry about the Pevensies
6) Include a lot more about Reep's quest and Aslan's country. Maybe even raised the stakes a bit and create a scene around him on the prow in the storm (will go into more detail, when she does not have hw)
7) Dialouge editing!!! They could have said things in a more subtle manner...I'll include a few examples later
8) Not have Eustace float in the air when being undragoned...actually I was hoping they'd do something with that seen like they did with Aslan's execution, camera-wise I mean
9) Eustace was perfect!
10) I would have kept most of the scenery the way it was... It was very well done
11) Longer storm, and dead sea scenes... slightly longer sea serpent scene
12) more night scenes... show that time was passsing more
13) Costumes were cool
14) Lilliandil & Caspian would have had a bigger relationship
15) Ramandu!!!

More later....

8) Not have Eustace float in the air when being undragoned...actually I was hoping they'd do something with that seen like they did with Aslan's execution, camera-wise I mean

Great point. Aslan's execution in LWW was pretty intense emotionally, and even scary visually, but did not descend to the level of kiddiness as VDT did.

1. Do away entirely with the green mist plot and the characters of Rhince and Gael.
2. Have the entire Narrowhaven scene done much closer to what is in the book. Violence is shown commonly in movies whereas peaceful takeovers would be something a little different. There's plenty of tension and aspects that would translate well visually in this scene as is.
3. I liked some of the lines the dufflepods had but I would have built up suspense before they start talking. Have the crew on the island get jumpy, "Did you hear something" and mono-pod foot prints all around them, closing in on them. (and like others have said, have this scene in the day not at night)
4. Eustace had a lot of comedic lines I liked and would keep in.
5. The focus of the movie would be on the search for the 7 Lords, each person's struggle between good and evil.
6. The breaking of the spell for the remaining lords be the same as in the book.
7. Keep in the "mutiny" on Ramandu's Island where the sailors do not want to go to the end of the world and how Caspian handles it. (It helps prove that he was a worthy leader, something I don't think the movie did enough of)
8. Expand on the tension between Caspian and Reepicheep, I would have it not only be that Caspian wants to go to but to have him want to be the one to go.

1. I would begin with Eustace in his room, writing in his diary about Edmund and Lucy coming. Then I would move to a steamship sailing for America (This is where I would enter The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and have the credits roll as the cameras moved from person to person on the dock...kind of like Titanic) Then I would move to Susan who was going to America with her parents. She would say something like "Don't get lost in a wardrobe, Lucy--you only have Edmund to handle your imagination", have Lucy say "You will write, won't you?" and Peter say, "She'll have her hands full of balls and beaus; she'll be lucky if she can hold a pen!" to imply her losing her faith in Narnia. I would make Peter go to England to shorten things, but I would make him still believing in Narnia by saying something like "Who knows? Maybe you'll get to Narnia!" to Lucy. I would give Edmund a much more "older brother" attitude towards Lucy.
That's the beginning I had in mind. I need some more time to analyze the movie to go further on.

Narnian_Archer, I love your scene with all the Pevensie's saying goodbye. Especially Susan's "Don't get lost in a wardrobe, Lucy--you only have Edmund to handle your imagination" It gets a lot in at once.

I would keep the shots of introducing Eustace by showing all those things about his room first (the bugs in jars, the hygiene award etc.) That's one of the best introductions to a character on film that I have seen. But yes, I like your way of having him writing about the cousins coming instead of there already. It establishes his relationship with them (family wise and emotionally wise) very well before we even see them interact.

Conina
Thank you I would also keep the shots of the personal hygiene award and bugs--that was one thing I liked in the movie
I also agree with everything you wrote. I really like your point of view.