That was lovely Lucy of Narnia. I could have almost imagined Eustace saying that he has experience starting fires LOL. Funny when he mumbles about Puddleglum's glass half empty outlook (that reminds me of someone we know from VDT). I really wish they would make this movie soon and consider the fans' input.

"I know how to start a fire by myself!"

Oh, do you mean Eustace himself in VotDT? Funny how the tables turn...

I hope they consider fan input too! Thank you for the compliment, stateofgreen!
*edit*
Btw, wolfloversk, your is terrific! I love the exciting starting sequence! And the return of Trufflehunter! Some music was playing during part of it and I was like...wow, this is cool, I can really picture this! *squeal*!!

*edit again*

Only one very slight thing I'd change is that before we cut to England, show LotGK smiling sweetly at Rillian and him coming to her. Just my input.

*edit AGAIN*

I'm going to try to write the whole movie!! Here's the opening sequence:

Logos, etc.

We open to a woman’s pale hand playing with a wildflower, then plucking it. She raises it to her nose and we see that it is Lilliandil. She smiles, enjoying the fragrance. We hear boys’ laughter and she turns to watch Rillian and his friend running around, playing. She smiles fondly at her son. The boys keep playing, getting rather close to the woods. Lilliandil sits up a bit straighter. Drinian, who is sitting nearby with Caspian, etc., stands up and begins walking towards the boys.

Lilliandil: Thank you, Drinian.

Drinian gives a slight bow and smiles; everyone is fond of their Queen. We see the boys playing around on the trees; Rillian is beginning to climb one. Drinian comes over.

Drinian: You don’t want to be too close to these woods, boys.

Boy: Why not?

Drinian: There are strange people in these woods. Better stay to the fields.

Boys obey, but Rillian is last, lingering and looking behind him.

Rillian’s friend: Rillian, come on!

Rillian (almost to himself): Do you think Drinian was pulling our leg, or are there really people in those woods…

Friend: Why would he make something up?

Rillian is staring off into the woods.

Friend: Well, you couldn’t pay me anything to go into those woods! Drinian must know what he’s talking about.

While he is talking, we zoom into Rillian’s face, the friend’s voice fading away. We se the woods; something moves ever so slightly. Rillian’s eyes widen. Something slides over the grass, Rillian’s eyes follows it. A snake’s glossy green head pokes up to stare into Rillian’s eyes. Rillian stares back, glassy-eyed and awed. The snake turns its head and disappears again. Rillian watches until the grass stops moving, then he turns to his friend.

Rillian: Drinian’s right; we should stay away from there.

The two boys walk off. Rillian sneaks one last look over his shoulder but sees nothing.

Another thought I had was that the movie could open with a stylized montage (stained glass, a storybook or like the engravings in Aslan's How), showing the story of Rilian that the children are told in the Parliament of Owls. This would be another way of showing Rilian's story, but keeping the audience unaware of his actual appearance. There won't be any dialouge, just a musical score and, maybe, opening credits. I think it was also be fitting for a Narnia movie, because of it's Narnia's mythic quality.

That could work. It reminds me of the begginning of Beauty and the Beast when the narrator tells of how the enchantress cursed the prince into becoming a beast.

Another scene (obviously not next!):

Jill, Eustace and Puddleglum are walking through deep snow. Wind is flying snow all into their faces and thick flakes are steadily falling. Jill and Eustace are hunched over, red-faced, panting, with Jill close to tears. Eustace is putting on a brave face. Puddleglum doesn’t seem to mind nearly as much as the children but is hunkering down as well. We see Jill now sniffling and teary-eyed, mumbling the signs- sort of. She doesn’t really have them right, or in the right order, and they’re mixed with sighs and complaints. Suddenly Jill falls and disappears. Eustace starts and rushes over to where she was just a moment before. Puddleglum, behind him and last of the trio rushes over as well. They peer down over the edge of a small drop and see Jill, not harmed but rather frightened.

Eustace: Jill! Are you okay?
Jill (almost crying): I…I think so.
Puddleglum: Broken her leg, I shouldn’t wonder.
Jill begins to cry.
Eustace(horribly angry): Oh, you just stop it and leave her alone! Jill, are you hurt?
Jill: N-no. (tries to stop crying)
Puddleglum(trying to make things up): Well…uh…if we can’t get her up, maybe we could go down?
Eustace: Can’t we get her up?
Puddleglum: I’m not sure.
Jill: The wind’s not so cutting down here.
Eustace (looks at Puddleglum): Well, why not? (to Jill) I’m coming, Jill!
Eustace slips himself down the side and lands in a soft pile of snow and is unharmed. Puddleglum slides in after him.
Puddleglum: Ah, that’s a sight better. Now for some thinking. What do we do next?
Eustace: I’m not sure. If we can’t get out, we shall have to wait for help. I do think we’re almost to Harfang; maybe we’re near enough so that someone will come by in a day or two. Like…like that Lady Rider.
Jill almost says something than stops. Eustace gives her a knowing smile.
Puddleglum: Well…that might work, except for the fact that we’re down here, and the road is (points) up there. They’d never find us if they weren’t looking. Which they aren’t.
Jill: Well…I think we should try to get out of here. I don’t like all these dark corners and shouldn’t like to wait down here if we were sure that help would come! Anyway we can try, and with Puddleglum here being so tall, maybe he could lift us out? (Looks to him)
Puddleglum: I suppose so…if we piled the snow high enough…
Eustace sighs and sits down and Jill begins to tear up again and plops down beside him, away from the curve. Eustace, noticing Jill’s face, turns to Puddleglum.
Eustace: Well, whatever we do, l say we rest a minute. Hey! I wonder if that leads to anything.
Puddleglum: I shouldn’t wonder if (sees Jill’s face and changes his mind)- well, if it was…ah…nothing harmful!
Eustace rolls his eyes.
Eustace: Or it may be helpful! It might even be a road, and then we could walk without the wind in our faces! Come on, Jill, let’s try it!
Jill is obviously unsettled at the thought of going down the curve. Eustace rolls his eyes and turns to Puddleglum.
Eustace: On second thought, stay with Pole and I’ll check out the road. She may need your company.
Eustace walks off, Jill glaring at his back. Puddleglum sighs.
Puddleglum: As nice a boy as he is, and as nice a girl as you are, I don’t see as how you aren’t better friends.
Jill (frustrated) He thinks I’m a chicken but…I can’t…can’t stand…
Jill is almost crying and sighs. Puddleglum looks rather understanding so she goes on.
Jill: It’s just that…I can’t stand dark, dirty underground places! I hate them!
Puddleglum: Can’t say as how I like them myself.
Jill: I bet Eustace wishes he could get back at me for showing off when he was scared. Now he’d have his chance.
Puddleglum: But he sure isn’t using it.
Jill looks at Puddleglum; “Oh, yeah…”
Jill (slowly, thinking) : Well, I suppose that’s what’s so nice about him; he’s a gentleman, really.
Puddleglum: That he is.
The two of them settle down to wait; Puddleglum moving in front of the dark alleyway for Jill. Jill smiles appreciating, then sinks into thought. We hear Eustace moving along down the path.
Eustace: It curves here!
Puddleglum: What’s that?
Eustace: I say, it curves here! Hold it; just a dead end. I’ll check the next way.
Jill smiles thoughtfully.

I'm not so sure about a few attitudes/character developments I've put in there, so I'd appreciate CC.

Another thought I had was that the movie could open with a stylized montage (stained glass, a storybook or like the engravings in Aslan's How), showing the story of Rilian that the children are told in the Parliament of Owls. This would be another way of showing Rilian's story, but keeping the audience unaware of his actual appearance. There won't be any dialouge, just a musical score and, maybe, opening credits. I think it was also be fitting for a Narnia movie, because of it's Narnia's mythic quality.

That could work. It reminds me of the begginning of Beauty and the Beast when the narrator tells of how the enchantress cursed the prince into becoming a beast.

That's what I was thinking of actually.

I'm really enjoying reading all of these and I love the ideas you're coming up with. I feel like I've already been watching the movie (with some scenes repeated multiple times ) for the last half hour. It's great!

I'd love to come back with a script tomorrow. It's a bit too late for me to write tonight.

I was part of the group that was writing the script for VotDT and really enjoyed it. I was really excited to see someone start one for SC.

Tiffany

wolfloversk, your script is BRILLIANT! I would love it if a scene similar to this one is included in the final film! I particularly love the return of a certain badger who I always wished was included in the SC book..

lol I love some of these ideas! I think the montage opening sounds really neat too!

Just a tad bit more...

We cut to Caspian, Lilliandil and Rillian in their private dining hall. Rillian is picking at his food and Lilliandil is concerned.
Lilliandil: Rillian, what’s the matter?

Rillian (not looking up): Oh…nothing.

Caspian and Lilliandil exchange glances.

Caspian: Did something happen today, Rillian?

Rillian: Well…no, not really.

Caspian: Would you like to talk about it privately, man-to-man?

Rillian looks up.

Rillian (irritated): I don’t want to talk about it. Nothing happened.

Caspian (sternly): Then what is it that you don’t want to talk about?

Rillian jumps up from the table, muttering an ‘excuse me’, and leaves the room.

Caspian: Rillian-!

Lilliandil is very upset.

CC? LoN

*edit to add more*

We see Rilian at the end of the woods. He is standing still, not sure weather to go in or not. He sniffs suddenly, as though he caught some scent on the air. He looks surprised, and inhales deeply. Then he smiles and, with one last deep breath, begins picking his way through the forest.

After a few minutes Rilian comes around a tree and sees a tall, slim woman with blonde hair and a lovely smile. Her veil covers most of her face. Rilian comes towards her.

Rilian: Are you…of the people of the woods?

The lady smiles.

Lady (in a beautiful, soft, lovely voice) Yes, dear. Come; you must be lonely, in the woods at this time of night. Where is your family?

Rilian (sadly, regretfully): At home…I left them at dinner. I…(looks up) I wanted to see you…again.

Lady: Wanted to see me again? You’ve never seen me before, have you?

Rilian: I…

The lady rubs her middle and pointer fingers against her thumb once, sprinkling an ever-so-slight mist of fine, pale-green powder. Rilian inhales again.
Rilian (happily): Ah…

He seems calm, at peace. The lady smiles at him and holds out her hand.

Lady: Would you like to come with me, darling? You must be famished. Come to my house and I will give you pretty things to eat.

Rilian is in battle with himself. The lady smiles and once more sprinkles mist. Still, Rilian doesn’t say anything. Finally

Rilian (regretfully): I…I shouldn’t. I need to be getting home…

The lady keeps smiling at him. He looks up to her.

Lady: Don’t you want to come with me? Then we can spend time together every day. I will tell you secrets about life in other lands. I will tell you about boy-children and girl-children beyond, in lands one cannot reach without magic.

Rilian: Really? But…

Internal struggle continues.

Lady: Oh, please tell me you should like to come. If you don’t come, I will miss you so…

Lady pulls up her veil; she is crying. Rilian is very torn. At last, he smiles slightly.

Rilian: I…I suppose I could come for a little while if…if we can have dinner. I am awfully hungry…

Lady: You will be glad of this day in further time, I think.

They walk off, the lady dropping her veil. Rilian is in his right mind mostly, but his eyes are slightly glassy, and as he follows he keeps stopping to look back behind him. He’s still not 100% sure of his choice.

Lady: Are you coming, Rilian?

“Are you coming? Are you coming?”

Lucy: I say, Eustace, are you coming?

Eustace stands up with his diary; he had been reading over a previous entry, thoughtfully.

Eustace (thoughtfully): Lucy, do you remember our adventure in Narnia?

Lucy laughs and comes into the room (she had been standing in the doorway).

Lucy: Well, of course I do! Why do you ask?

Eustace: Well, I was reading over my previous entries and I find it hard to believe…

Lucy (concerned): You don’t mean to say that you think we imagined it all?

Eustace (laughing): No, of course not! But I was hoping that some of these things weren’t true…

We see a passage that says something about “skewering relatives”. Lucy laughs and closes the diary.

Lucy: Oh, it’s all over now, Eustace. Someone very wise once told me “What’s done is done. There’s no need to talk about what is past.”

Eustace thinks for a moment, then looks up, smiling.

Eustace: Thanks, cousin.

Voice: Eustace! Eustace! You’re going to be late, and your cousins, too.

The children get sad.

Eustace: Coming, Mother.

Silence as Eustace grabs his bag, then

Lucy: I can’t tell you how much I’ll miss you, Eustace. I’m so glad we stayed with you.

Eustace: Yes, well…Mother and Father aren’t. They think you’ve changed me for the worse!

They both laugh.

Edmund (popping head in doorway): Come on, guys; I don’t want to be late for the train.

They head downstairs.

Edmund: I can’t wait to see everyone again! Peter and I can play cricket again! I haven’t played a decent game of cricket in ages!

Eustace: Well, it isn’t that I don’t try!

Edmund: No offense cousin but…you were always better at the books than I was.

They smile.

Lucy (far-away in thought): And Susan’s getting married. I can’t wait to meet Sergeant Lockston. He sounds simply wonderful…!
Edmund: Well…maybe I have grown up, but I still don’t quite understand…

Lucy (teasing): Oh really?

Edmund: Yeah…what do you mean?!

Lucy goes down stairs ahead of him, saying, laughing, and just out of Edmund’s hearing

Lucy: Do you want me to change forms? No!

Eustace laughs, and Edmund turns to him.

Edmund: What did she say? What??

Eustace: Oh…nothing.

He tries not to laugh, unsuccessfully; Edmund has a “what?” expression on his face. They walk down stairs, Edmund shaking his head.

I love this bit! How 'bout you? *ducks tomatoes from purists*

*edit to add more again*

We see them at the train station: Edmund, Lucy and Eustace. Edmund is standing back a bit, looking sad. Lucy is closer to Eustace, tears in her eyes. Eustace is not crying but looks uncomfortable. Lucy suddenly throws her arms around him. Her head is over his shoulder, she is crying. Then we see Eustace over her shoulder; he is resisting. Then he relaxes, smiling uncomfortably and sort of chuckling. He gets sad and tears come into his eyes. Lucy finally lets go and they look at each other at arms length. Both are smiling through their tears. Edmund is smiling slightly. He comes over to Eustace.

Edmund: There once was a boy who at awful times, came up with horrible, rough-sounding rhymes.

Eustace chuckles silently and smiles. Then he succumbs to his sadness, a tear slipping down each cheek.

Eustace: I’m going to miss you, cousin.

Edmund (choked up): Me too.

They hug briefly. The three look at each other fondly. At last, Edmund picks up his bag; the train is whistling into the station. Edmund hands Lucy her bag and they give Eustace one last smile before turning towards the train. They get on and sit down, then look out the window. They raise their hands and wave; Eustace waves back, crying. Lucy is crying as well and Edmund is pretty close. Then the doors close and the train rolls away. Eustace watches it silently, still crying. At last, he turns and sits down on a bench. He has his head in his hands and is very deep in thought. He looks at where the train was last seen and smiles. He is happy, yet sad at the same time.

Voice: Shouldn’t we be going now, if we aren’t to be late?

Eustace jumps up off of the bench and, roughly wiping his eyes, answers.

Eustace: Uh…sorry. Quite…unnecessary. And…not suitable in public places…

The girl laughs once, then looks at him sideways, smiling.

Eustace (wiping his face one last time): Well, we needn’t stand here all day. I say, Pole, are you ready now?

Jill: Yes.

Eustace: Good. Then…let’s go.

He walks out of the station ahead of her, with one recuperative sniffle. Jill follows, giggling. She’s not laughing at him for missing them, but because he tried to cover it up.

I love the Eustace meets Jill scene! What do you think about the poetry? I wanted to bring it back but tell me if it's too corny, I won't mind! Maybe the verse itself needs a little work, but concept is ok...? You tell me!

Wow, Lucy of Narnia! I love your transition from Narnia to England! And it's very in line with the transitions from previous movies (e.g. Caspian blowing the horn to the car honking). The goodbye scenes between Eustace, Ed, and Lu are very sweet. Probably a bit too long for an actual movie, though. But I really like Edmund's rhyme to Eustace! Great job with that. I want it in the movie!
I'm not sure if I like how Jill and Eustace are so friendly right away, but it's nice how you waited a tad before giving her name.

Your script at the top of the page:
I hope you don't mind me saying that I don't like how much Jill is crying in this scene. I do like how you have Eustace telling Puddleglum to leave her alone. And P's line "I shouldn’t wonder if - well, if it was…ah…nothing harmful!" J and P's little talk about showing off is sweet, but to me the line:
"Eustace: I say, it curves here! Hold it; just a dead end. I’ll check the next way. Jill smiles thoughtfully."
Screams Jilstace!!!! Which I'm not a fan of.

Sorry to be the meanie, but I'm going to have to close this thread. We do not and legally cannot allow fanfiction on NarniaWeb.