The dog bit President Spud, who then caught tetanus.

A dog with tetanus was just elected President of Spuds

The newly elected President of Spuds went from being a dog with Tetanus, to being a regular potato.

The President of Spuds was demoted from his position by a dog with tetanus.

The President of Dogs was forced to step down by a spud with tetanus.

The President of Dogs was impeached by a sick spud.

The running of the mad dogs turned the spuds into mash!

Time to change the story.

*Finds a random news article to start off our next bout of warped journalism*

"Adam Levine Bashes 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,' and calls It 'Decay Of Western Civilization'"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/03/adam-levine-bashes-here-comes-honey-boo-boo_n_2231572.html?icid=maing-grid7|maing8|dl17|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D240847

Adam Levine bashed jars of honey, giving them boo boos, and causing the decay of Western Civilisation.

Western Civilization bashes Adam Levine with booboos, leaving him with only decaying jars of honey to his name

Western Civilization bashed Adam Levine with decaying jars of honey, which left him with many boo-boos.

The decay of Western was furthered when Adam bashed Honey Levine for making boo boos.

The honey of Western increased when Boo Adam ate a vine.

The Western honey increased when a vine ate Adam Boo

Boo Radley grew vines from his face for his western Honey