Oui, madame - you ordered the chess-nut soup.

Waiter, there's a subway token in my soup!

Yes, of course, Madame. It is really a token for the Subway franchise which opened next door last week, if you want to buy a takeaway, American-style, Subway roll, for when you go home. I'm afraid you will have to wait several years before our expected railway extension to the city "Subway" is finally built on the other side of the road.

Waiter! There are clam shells in my soup!

Yes, madame - we strive to give you exactly what you order, so your clam chowder came with the whole clam.

Waiter, there's a box of crayons in my soup!

Please look under your placemat, to find the colouring pictures. You can relax while you wait for your meal.

Waiter, there's an airline ticket in my soupl!

My apologies. Your order was swapped with someone else's order of Flying Soup; let me fix that right now.

Waiter, there's a ceramic elephant in my soup!

Shhhh... you're not supposed to mention that.  

Waiter, there's a tennis ball in my soup!

Oh those naughty tennis players, sneaking out of quarantine! They are supposed to stay, eat & store their equipment in that hotel over there, until the Australian Open commences this month. Madame I'm afraid we will need to contact the Authorities. I presume that you left your name & phone number with the girl who measured your temperature at the entrance to the restaurant. If I were you I'd make sure I avail myself of a free CoVID-19 test in the facilities adjoining the Racecourse, on the way out. 

Waiter! There is someone else's mobile phone in my soup! 

Oh, that's a free gift, sure, so that you can use two phones to talk to yourself! Useful if spending a long time alone 

Waiter, there's a whole raw apple in my soup!

Yes, it's a trial run for our Halloween two-for-one: soup AND a party game. Are you entertained?

Waiter, there is a lace handkerchief in my soup!

Well, you did ask for French onion soup, didn't you? We will need to return the lace handkerchief to The weeping Lady of Shallot, the actress giving us a rendition of this famous poem, whilst she chopped onions.

Waiter! There is a QR code in my soup!

Yes indeed, ma'am. Just scan it with your smartphone camera to be taken online to our Enhanced Soup Experience, in which you'll see and hear our expert chefs taking you through every stage of your soup's preparation in an all-singing, all-dancing spectacular.  

Waiter, there are cat hairs in my soup!

The sign outside and our establishment's a-meow-sing website both state "friendly cat on premises".  

Waiter, there's a bowl in my soup!

Yes, we're experimenting with an inside-out soup concept. What do you think of it?

Waiter, there's a frozen tree in my soup!

Oh, my apologies. The chef must have gotten it confused with the frozen peas.

Waiter, there's a pocket watch in my soup!

Yes, madame - we pride ourselves on our soup being on time.

Waiter, there's a postcard in my soup!