No. But that's the least of my problems! I'm still trying to figure out if timely travel is possible.

How would you feel about giving up caffeinated drinks?

I would hardly notice.

If you could travel in time, would you go to the past or to the future (and to when)?

If I could travel in time, I would like to travel to the past to resolve some famous mysteries that are still outstanding, such as the explanation of what happened to the Princes in the Tower (1483 or thereabouts). I'd rather leave the future to look after itself.

Why does the usually empty road in front of my place always fill with traffic the minute I attempt to back out of my driveway?

The traffic is in a hurry to get to the same place you are.

Why do flowers come in different colors?

Because God knew we would like more then one color to look at.

Why do Cats think they are better then Dogs?

Dogs know that their human is their master, whilst Cats know their human is staff.

Why does it always rain after you wash the car?

Because if it didn't, the birds would take the opportunity to leave their business all over it.

Why does the weather turn really pleasant the week after I come back from holiday?

Because it didn't get the memo that you wanted nice weather until then.

Why are stoplights red, yellow, and green and not some other combination of colors?

Because red is a color that catches our attention, and green is very easy to see, and in terms of colors of light, yellow is what you get when you mix green and red, so it makes for a good transitional color.

Why can't floors vacuum themselves?

Well, would you want the floor to try to eat your feet because it can't tell the difference between them and the dust and crumbs it's supposed to be vacuuming up?

Why was crocheting invented?

Because someone slipped and chipped their knitting needle, and then went, "HEY! Now I only need one needle to make the yarn sit up and do tricks!" (And then of course, the publishing industry discovered they could sell twice as many pattern books and the rest, as they say, is history.)

Where do missing socks go?

They go for long walks, and then they get lost (presumably in the forest) and never find their way home.

Why do the missing socks mostly go on such walks on their own, leaving their partner behind in the drawer?

Oh, it's usually over something silly, like he told her she was starting to look stretched out, or she nagged him about gathering up too much lint....

If a zombie was a vegetarian, what would it eat?

Well, the zombie would eat Smarties. It would figure that if a brain makes you smart, Smarties must be similar to one.

Are violets blue?

They are as blue as roses are red

Is baseball truly the American pastime?