this was pretty great

I'm glad Im not Danish. No offense.

This is a true story about a young boy and a day of inner tubing gone horribly wrong.

The boy and his father had been snowboarding at a resort, but the boy got tired, so he decided to go back to a ride he had been doing earlier. At the bottom of a hill were dozens of inner tubes sitting/floating on a puddle of melted snow and slush. You picked a tube and dragged it over to a conveyor system where you would sit in your tube and an attendant would hook it up. It would drag you to the top of the hill where a second attendant would unhook you. You would then get in a line for the hill itself. When it was your turn, you would shove yourself or have someone else shove you down the hill, and you would get a thrilling ride all the way down until you crashed into the waiting pile of inner tubes at the bottom, and the cycle would start all over again.

The boy had ridden several times before, and at first he had no problems. Then he saw someone get off a green inner tube. Since green was his favorite color and there were no other green inner tubes at the edge of the pile, he decided to take that one. The man advised against it, it was over cushioned and he might get stuck. The boy figured this wouldn't be a problem since he was smaller, so he took it anyway. He brought it to the conveyor, but he didn't get in securely enough, so as soon as it started moving he fell off. The boy then chased his inner tube all the way up the hill, where the attendant caught it for him.

He then got in line, determined to get in securely this time. When it was his turn, he got in as tight as he could. The attendant in charge of regulating when people went offered to push, but the boy insisted on scooting himself over the edge. He did, but he couldn't get enough momentum, and halfway down the hill he stopped. Everyone told him to get out, but he had gotten in too tightly and was stuck. Then an idea occurred to him. He shouted up to the people at the top of the hill for them to send someone else down to knock his sled down. They agreed, and a younger girl came down at great speeds. Her sled ran into his, the girl and her tube flipped into the air in epic movie style, but the boy only went a couple feet. The girl was fine, but the sledders at the top refused to try that again and insisted the boy get out. "But I can't get out," he yelled, and then promptly got unstuck.

After trudging down to the bottom of the hill, he discarded the green inner tube that had caused him so many problems and got a new one. This time he made it up the hill without incident. While he was waiting in line, he asked the attendant if he could start immediately after the person in front of him. She told him that he would have to wait until she gave the signal that he was out of the way first. The boy only half listened. As soon as the other rider reached the bottom, the boy hurried and leaped down on his belly before anyone could stop him. He was going plenty fast this time. Halfway down the hill however, he noticed something. In his haste to get down, he had forgotten to grab on to his handholds. He checked to his left and right, but he couldn't even find his handholds. Realizing what was about to happen, he waved Wile E. Coyote style, his inner tube reached the bottom and stopped, while the boy continued on like a rocket until he landed in the ice cold slush water.

Fortunately his father arrived then because it was time to go home. How do I know all this? I was the boy.

Dinode, all is can say, as I am chuckling ("he waved Wile E. Coyote style, his inner tube reached the bottom and stopped, while the boy continued on like a rocket until he landed in the ice cold slush water.") is

EtJ posted this on facebook; I almost fell out of my chair. If you can't understand why it's funny, PM me!

LOL Ram!!! That is hilarious!

Lol Wolfy!! It seems like ANY pictures of cats can be funny if you write something on them.

Here's why I like Air1; they're funny.

... re=related

Weirdo, that was just so funny, but here's another one by them that's even funnier.

I found these ads on Craigslist and thought they were hilarious.

Ninja Repellent/Entertainment center
Date: 2010-11-05, 8:54AM CDT

What, dear Reader makes my Entertainment Center so much more special than others? Aside from the faux wood grain and authentic faux granite looking "stuff" that coats the main section, I tell you that it is an amazing piece of furniture. It does not slice, dice or julienne, but it does have one amazing feature: It acts as Ninja repellent. Take a look at the photos. Go on, look. Not one ninja anywhere. Those pesky ninjas are always in the bushes, trying to assassinate you? Then this my friend is the the furniture for you.

Oh, but I hear your argument already, they are *ninjas*, they would not show up on film. Well I used a high speed camera and at the time there was minimal cloud cover, so I think its safe to say that if anyone could capture the fleeting essence of a ninja mid-attack, its my little nikon coolpix.

But I digress. After attaining this Center and installing it within the confines of your home you can breathe a weary sigh of contentment as you can watch the ninjas curse at you from the outside as you revel in the unending Snorks vs. Smurfs marathon you have been dying to hold. Where at its conclusion you can stand, turn to like Russel Crowe as Maximus the Roman gladiator and scream at the unwashed and fetid masses "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED????"

Let me know, I will even help load it. Good luck, first come, first safe from ninjas.

Male Villain Seeking Female Arch-Enemy - m4w
Date: 2010-01-21, 3:05AM CST

Howdy, I'm looking for a deadly vixen to do battle with on a weekly basis. We could meet in parks, rooftops, on the top of a moving train, on top of a moving truck, on top of anything really. My last arch-enemy found a new villain to fight when she decided beating me was too easy =(. I'm looking for someone strong, but not too strong. If you're about Buffy strong, you're too strong, but if you're about Sailor Mercury strong, that's too weak. Costumes are a plus and bring a group if you want, but no more than 3 because there's a difference between losing a battle and just straight up getting jumped. Should we ever have a common greater foe, I'm all for teaming up, but just that one time. Please respond soon, I'm so out of practice. I don't even have any putties to fight.

World's most uncomfortable saddle
Date: 2010-01-01, 11:41PM PST

Like a ghastly specter from your darkest nightmare, this saddle has returned from the grave seeking vengeance. Its previous master thought it had banished it to the blackness of the abyss for good, but nay, it was only for an epoch.

Features:
*Steel rails forged by LUCIFER himself
*Genuine Auroch hide seat provides maximum chafing

I am reaching the end of my strength, as the madness contained within this dark artifact threatens to consume me. I cannot merely throw this adamantine saddle on the rubbish heap, lest some unwary passerby become transfixed by its lightless glow. No, I must only give this to one with the courage to look into the bloodshot eyes of insanity, and the strength to master it. A wizard with the cunning to master this beast gains an ally of unspeakable power: the ultimate theft deterrent. At the moment the thief straddles your steed, his fate is sealed. Eager for revenge upon mortals, the saddle will visit his rear with blisters that rival the torment of fire and brimstone... a dire lesson he will not soon forget. This same fate will befall any unworthy mortal who in his arrogance, attempts to mount the saddle of doom. Are you worthy?

@Libby Lol! That's so great. XD

@LC Rofl

I hope this doesnt count as politics, but i thought it was pretty great xD

LOL so true

An owl...

~Riella