I was the director of the play! Seriously!

You turned my speakers up to 11 when they could only be turned up to 10, and it ended up breaking my speakers!

The song you were playing was so quiet I couldn't hear it.
(Nice excuse for Dernhelm's one, by the way. )

You spilled paint all over my rug.

I tripped over your dog who was sprawled out on the rug, blame your dog, not me, he was the one who was in my way

You threw a stone at my window and smashed it!!!

You said you wanted me to destroy your window for recycling before I replaced it with the new one, remember?

You trapped me in a room with the only escape being an endless staircase!

I just wanted to make you resemble your avatar.

You taught my dog to fetch with my favourite water bottle.

I couldn't resist his cuteness and he really wanted to play, so grabbed the first thing I could throw. As you can see he really loves it!

You shredded the concert tickets for my favorite artist that I paid $500 dollars for and stood in line for hours to buy!

I'm sorry, but I'm trying to break your obsession---$500 is far too much to spend on concert tickets!

You drilled holes in the bottom of our rowboat so that it sank while I was reenacting The Lady of Shalott!

It was for effect! Elaine looks so much more like a lily maid when she's dripping wet! (You can swim, right?)

You woke me up at 6am on a Saturday!

There was a time bomb that was set to blow up at 6:03 AM! I saved you!

You woke me up at 3:14 PM just to slap me in the face while I was awake!

I wasn't quite sure whether you were breathing or not since you were asleep so soundly that I had to make sure you were alive.

You didn't shut the door to my house after your visit and a felon who escaped from the police took cover in my home!

Your dog escaped as I was leaving, so I ran off to chase him and forgot to shut the door.

You hid alarms all over my room and set them to go off every hour.

You told me that you have a hard time staying awake to study for your research paper, so I thought I could give you hand, creative wasn't it

You told me the exam date had been moved when it actually hadn't and now I'm not prepared

Well, I thought it had moved. Excuse me while I go cram for the last few minutes before the exam.

You dumped confetti all over my floor and won't clean it up.

of course I won't clean it up, what was the point of dumping it all over your room if I was the one who had to clean it up. Personally, I like the way it looks on your floor, if you REALLY don't like it, then clean it up yourself

You poured milk all over me

That wasn't just any sort of cow's milk I spilled over you. I thought you'd like a nice, instantly beautifying, Cleopatra-style milk bath, to go with the confetti. Someone told me that you were to be part of a wedding party shortly or a big celebration.

Why didn't you tell me about these celebrations, yourself, when you know I would have loved to have heard about them?