It was out of control and people were flying off of it like stones from a slingshot!

You've made a mess of popped popcorn all over the floor!

I was having a really fun popcorn fight! You were invited, but you never showed up.

Why did you squirt toothpaste into the sink?!

It was such a pretty color...

You put crazy glue on my headphones!

Wait!!!!! Didn't you read the sign on your earphones? I am conducting an experiment with them and crazy glue, you are not to touch them, now look, you've ruined the entire experiment!

You let my monkey drink coffee, and now it's destroying my home in it's hyperactive state

But it was decaf coffee! Your monkey must be not only hyperactive but hypersensitive as well.

You interrupted the Olympic volleyball game to prance around in a tutu, wave pompoms and cheer for your team! *stares*

Well HELLO. You know how I can rock it in a tutu. Plus, nobody else was cheering for them, they needed some moral support! If you're not going to be a fair sport for others in the Olympics, then I WILL BE!

You took all of my crayons, melted them into one big mess together, and then took the newly improved, horrific coloured crayon and decided to scribble all over my walls with it!

Oh, please. Your walls were pure white. You can't expect me to let you get away with that lack of creativity, can you? Besides, I'm an artist. And those crayons have been around since you were born, it's about time they were put to good use. All in all, it's art, my dear. And certainly you cannot argue with that. *nods firmly*

You burnt down my house!

You had mice...

I haven't found out what you've done yet, but I can tell you're up to something!

Who me? *gives close-lipped smile to hide chocolate stained teeth* Well, you know me! Always a good girl.

You shaved all my dog's hair off! Now his natural cooling system is gone and he's so ashamed he's hiding in the closet!

But he looked so hot with that fur coat on!

You put a sign on my back reading "Tickle me!"

I wanted to amuse you! To give you something to laugh about!

You stole my favorite book!

I didn't steal it. I only borrowed it. I was curious as to why you liked it so much.

You took my last lemon bar!

Of course I did. I gave it to my nearest and dearest who needed it more, to hide the after effects of radiation treatment.

You bought all the lemon bars in the shop so nobody else could get some.

The lemon bars were poisoned by terrorists! I was merely saving society from it's need for citrus flavoured baked goods.

You dumped all of my clean laundry into a pile of mud!

I was offered serious money for testing a new variety of washing machine. Hey, I'll give you half of it.

You taped over my recording of the Olympic opening ceremonies before I could watch it!