It had a invisible time bomb that was about to go off. I had to go to the hospital for weeks because of the explosion, so you better be glad that I kept you safe. Also, I can assure you that the hospital bills I'm paying cost way more than you could have afforded with your purse gone.

You put a time bomb in Quinlin's purse, making me have to take Quinlin's purse and take a trip to the hospital!

You wanted to visit the hospital anyways. . . right?

You set me on fire!

I set your shirt on fire, it's the shirt that burned you, so blame it not me

You smashed all my windows!

you asked to play baseball on your front lawn even thought you know I have a terrible aim!!

you stepped on my foot. twice

Be thankful that is all I stepped on, I was aiming for your head

You weeded my flower bed for me

its your birthday, so i thought id to something nice for you!

you cut my finger!

It was a small cut, and I was assigned by a doctor to get some blood from that specific spot on your finger so he could check it. I put a bandage on it afterwards anyway, so it should heal quickly, anyway!

You turned my upside-down into a by whacking me in the head with a hammer!

Your skull was popping out. . . just trying to pop it back in.

You shattered my antique lamp!

I found out it was really a fake, I was trying to save you all the pain of looking at it, since y ou did spend a thousand on it

You ate the candy bar that my dead husband bought me, just before he passed

I didn't eat it, i brought it to Africa for the little kids, because they rarely get chocolate.

You put my mattress out in the rain!

It needed washing and wouldn't fit into the washing machine.

You poked me with a toothpick!

The toothpick was robotic, and it just happened to be in my hand at the time it chose to poke you.

You trolled me!

I just wanted to find out what your favorite color was and you wouldn't tell me so...

you ate my muffin!! and drank my juice!!

They were the same ones Alice ate in Wonderland and I knew they would make you shrink. You should be so glad I ate them because I'm only a couple inches tall now and you're about to step on me!

You bought me an emu and set it loose in my house!

I wanted it to feel at home with you!!

you kicked my pet monkey!!