You can dance better, but you can only dance in the rain, and you have to sing whenever you dance as well, and you can only dance a strange mixture of tap dancing and jazz, so nobody likes your dancing anyway, so it doesn't matter that you can dance better.

I wish that I could type without ever making a typo.

You can, but only when you type ten words per minute. Seeing as it requires the patience of a sage to type ten words per minute, you become a sage, reach a place of contentment on a high mountain and throw out your computer. So the "no typo" thing is really not relevant.

I wish Thanksgiving did not involve family squabbles.

Granted, but it involves burnt turkey!

I wish that they would make a t.v drama series based off of the New Testament

Granted! The new series is so badly written and acted that it is a total failure and ends up turning people off to the great stories. Following which the network kills the show and is for once not mobbed by wildly upset fans.

I wish I had my brother's metabolism. (He can eat anything he wants and still looks ripped)

You end up not eating enough and going into a coma.

I wish the Hobbit would get here sooner!

The Hobbit's here... Did I mention you slept right through the past month or so? You've got a lot of stuff to catch up on

I wish it would snow... a lot.

It snows. But instead of coming down nice and softly, all of the snow falls in one giant snow ball- crushing your house.

I wish my alarm clock worked

Oh, it does. Except it never turns off, and is powered by the electricity that flows from your brain to tell your body what to do, so as long as you live, the clock is ringing.

I wish I had no homework.

Granted! You no longer have homework, but because there are no assignments you aren't able to memorize new material, begin to fail all your exams, and quite frankly don't learn much of anything at all.

I wish I could own some horses.

Granted, but their price is so expensive that it take years of saving up before you finally get one.

I wish that my future will continue to be great

Your future is so great that you end up becoming overwhelmed with how boring and commonplace your present is. In order to get to your future, you buy (at tremendous expense) a watch that will allow you to move forward through your life, effectively skipping the boring parts. However, because you are chasing after something that can never be caught up to (the future), you end up skipping most of your life before you realize that good things come to those who wait. So now you are old and shriveled, but at least you are wise and have a great future!

I wish that I could move to Florida.

Granted, but the weather is disappointing

I wish that a family in need will have a great Christmas this year

They will, but every other family in the world will have a lame Christmas!

I wish that I could go to Narnia.

You can! But once you go, the portal closes and you can never come back to your family and friends

I wish Dr Pepper was good for you

Dr Pepper is now the best drink for you in the history of time. But now it taste terrible.

I wish that I could have thought of a more creative response to that last wish.