You get a lovely wooded trail, but there are lots of super-hungry bears on the trail, so you can't actually use it.

I wish I could think of a better wish.

You do, but only whenever you've already posted.

I wish I could get caught up on all my correspondence.

You get caught up on all your correspondence... but now you have to wait for everyone to write back.

(And wait. And wait. And wait. )

I wish I could tell the difference between my cat sneezing and the sound she makes before she makes a mess on the furniture.

Ye be able to do that, but now you can't decipher the difference between the sound your dog makes when he be wantin' to go on a walk and the sound of your phone ringing!

I be wishin' that everybody on the fair lands and seas of NarniaWeb would talk like a pirate on this fair day.

Everyone does talk like a pirate, but as non-English-speaking pirates, so you can't understand them.

I wish I could run away and join a historical reenactment society.

You run away and join a historical reenactment society, but you worry your family half to death and the cops are everywhere trying to find you.

I wish there were reindeer in lotro that were ridable

One will be released later this year for the Winter Festival, but it will cost 1,000 festival tokens, 6 riding tokens, a special document of mount ownership costing 2 gold, and a special riding skill availible for purchase at the LOTRO store for the low cost of 700 Turbine Points. Not to mention that you need be be level 75 to even use that skill...

I wish I lived in a different time zone.

You live in a different time zone, but it's right in the middle of Death Valley.

I wish that I could remember things better.

You do, but soon you're unable to ever forget anything, and so you're haunted by everything bad or embarrassing you've ever come across.

I wish I was more creative.

You will be, but it takes so much hard work that you are unprepared for which leads to outbursts of frustration and only moving on to something new.

I wish I was taller.

You grow taller, but your new height is around 10', so you always have to stoop to walk through doors and you can't stand up straight in most rooms. You only fit halfway onto your bed, and can never find anything that's in the right size.

I wish I had time to take care of everything that I should.

Congratulations, you do have the time to take care of everything you should.
However, it is at the expense of the income you could be earning to pay for everything you need to take care of.

I wish I could go back in time.

You figure out a way to travel back in time, but you cause a tear in the fabric of space-time, which causes the universe to end

I wish I had a phone.

You have a wonderful new phone, but no one ever call you or answers your calls.

I wish I could learn complex piano pieces in an hour.

You can but once learned, you forget them within 15 minutes. Better play fast!

I wish chocolate contained negative calories so that with every piece I eat, I lose weight.