You do and get very sick from accidentally swallowing so many cherry pits.

I wish I could spend a day at a bookstore.

You spend a day's worth of money at a bookstore, but you don't actually stay there the whole day.

I wish for a giant dish of pizza!

Voila! A pizza appears in front of you! It's a lovely twelve inch pizza crust with liquefied penguin liver sauce, Limburger cheese, anchovies, moldy peppers, anthrax paste, and a healthy portion of warthog thymus gland. Enjoy!!!!

I wish that my teeth were whiter.

Whoa, whoa! They're so bright that everyone around you is temporarily blinded and you're forced to go to a dentist to dim that whiteness to a safe level.

I wish I had my own TARDIS.

Good one 'gazer! Now to corrupt your wish...

You get your own TARDIS, but it's made entirely out of ice cream, so it melts before you can use it!

I wish I wasn't allergic to rats, because they're the best small animal pet ever!

You aren't allergic to rats, now they are allergic to you.

I wish I could meet Mario.

You meet Mario because you have been suddenly sucked into an X box game console produced by someone with Mafia connections.

I wish I could be in two places at once.

Congratulations! You are now able to be in two places at once by dividing yourself in half. However, an odd side effect of this split means you are only able to hear in one location, and only able to speak in the other.

I wish for some motivation.

Very creative, Mel!

You end up having too much, and you do too many things, and tire yourself to utter exhaustion.

I wish potato chips weren't bad for you, because they're so yummy!

Voila! Potato chips are now healthy. . . unfortunately, this causes so many people to consume potato chips that the world goes through a potato shortage as hasn't been seen since Ireland's late 19th century blight. Stock markets crash, and the world economy is destroyed.

I wish that I had some new furniture

You have new furniture! Except, well, they're not actually new, just new to you. Actually they've been sitting in your Grandmother's attic since the 60's, and at some point she had a rat infestation up there.

I wish I was Superman strong.

You are Superman strong but Underdog clumsy.

I wish I had super suction ears.

You get ears that are super-powerful at sucking germs into them, so you get sick because of the thousands of germs that come flying into your ear.

I wish our family had more than one pet at this very moment.

You buy another pet, but then it scares off your first one.

I wish I had a gift card to the local ice cream store.

You get a gift card to the local ice cream store but find out they are all out of ice cream!

I wish that I wasn't depressed.