You are given the gift to control weather, but you have to live in isolation in greenland for the rest of your life in exchange for the gift.

I wish I was thirty again.

Your wish is my command. Your life will now rewind back to your thirtieth birthday every year on your birthday, and that year when you were thirty will repeat itself exactly without any alteration whatsoever every year on your "thirtieth" birthday.

I wish I was not such a horrible procrastinator.

Granted. Now, you just don't even bother starting your work at all. (After all, procrastination presumes that you get it started on it eventually...)

I wish you would cry.

I cry... and I can't stop... ever.

I wish I Gandalf would hurry up and arrive...

(out of game: post #500 for me. All I can say is thanks NarniaWeb! )

He does, but he's a wee bit tipsy, thinks your an orc, and smites you!!!!!

I wish I could get a bigger apartment, in a nicer area, for a smaller price.

You do, but now you can't garden any because your landlord has a strict policy against plants on the porch.

I wish that I could enter a spicy-food eating contest and win a grand, wonderful prize.

You enter and win, but the prize is a big feast of spicy shrimp, the one food you're allergic to.

I wish I was a higher rank in Civil Air Patrol.

You get a higher rank, and a whole ton of responsibilites that you can hardly handle and start to go insane from the stress

I wish I could live 100 years

You live a hundred years from your age today, which makes you very old, but you become so frail you can't do anything anymore.

I wish I could be my favorite celebrity for a day.

You live 100 years, but you lose your memory and don't recognize people around you.

I wish I could live on an island in the sun.

Wish granted. The sun's pretty hot, especially inside the core, isn't it? Not to mention the astronomical gravitational forces. Enjoy!

I wish you had a million dollars.

...Oh that's cruel. I receive the million dollars, but the various stipulations involved in getting said million dollars winds up costing me $999,999.99.

I wish that I had a secret base. >8D

You get a secret base, but one of your minions/friends/whatever is working for you in your secret base puts a 100-foot wide and 50-foot tall billboard above it saying, in huge lettering "THIS IS A SECRET BASE! COME IN FOR FREE COOKIES!"

I wish that this game would go on for 100 pages.

The game is suddenly full of 100 pages of spam - a nasty combination of the internet kind and the "meat" kind.

I wish I would stop biting my nails.

You do, but then you start biting other people.

I wish I could eat spicy food.