You get a taste for good music, but it's so expensive that you cannot afford it.

I wish I could run my own bookshop!

You open a bookshop, but unfortunately no one ever comes in.

I wish I had a better grasp of theoretical science.

I wish winter would never come

Can we switch continents?

You get a better grasp of theoretical science, but you cannot handle any of the lab equipment without breaking it, so you can't make use of those concepts.

I wish it would actually snow this year...

It snows so much, you can't leave the house. Which isn't so bad until you realize that you don't have much food or water left. (but who cares? All that snow would be worth it! )

I wish I could deliver a brilliant speech...

You deliver a brilliant speech, but it's so scathingly brilliant that it makes some very powerful people desirous of getting you out of the way...

I wish I had a huge ranch.

*hands Lady Courage a bottle of Ranch Dressing*

I wish I could see in the dark.

You can see in the dark, but your pupils are now the size of dinner plates and you freak everyone out. Including your math teacher, who refuses to teach with you in the classroom, so it's almost another win.

I wish I had a better metabolism.

You get better metabolism, but in order to maintain it you can only eat potatoes.

I wish I could be wise.

Granted, but now you're an owl and you can't share that wisdom with anyone.

I wish I could handle this hot weather comfortably.

You can, but it's not much fun as a long eared hare.

I wish my laptop had a functioning battery with more than 15 min of battery life on it.

Your grandma gives you one for your birthday, but your windows shuts down that same day, so it doesn't do you much good till your computer gets serviced.

I wish I had internet that stayed on all day and not just for 2 hours!!!!

It stays on all day, but it can't turn off, and it's firmly plugged into your wall, and it uses a lot of electricity, so your electricity bills skyrocket so much, you have to destroy your internet access (by whacking your modem/router/whatever you use with a hammer) in order to lower your energy bill enough that you can pay for it, making you no longer have any internet access at all.

I wish this computer had a better graphics card.

Your computer gets a better graphics card, but it is so strong it burns out your computer battery!

I wish I had a big slice of Texas Sheet Cake a scoop of vanilla ice cream and brown sugar sprinkled on top!

You get your cake and ice cream-but more than you expected! It end s up falling out of the sky and crushes you.

I wish the sound on my computer worked

It does, at a minimum of 100 decibels.

I wish our dish washer worked.