Now you no longer exist on NarniaWeb. Bye-bye, Badger.

You burned all my journals, which I'd been keeping since I was 8!

It gets cold in the arctic.

You stranded me in the arctic with nothing but Lady Courage's journals to keep me warm!

I wanted to show you polar bears in their natural habitat.

You stole my TARDIS!

Yes I did, and it is VERY shiny! But I'll give you a lift if you'd like.

You drained my laptop's battery!

I thought it was plugged in!

you dies my hair red while I was sleeping

I thought you would look pretty with red hair and you do!

You hit me with a dictionary!

I did not! It was an encyclopedia! Like I said, you wouldn't know facts if they hit you in the face.

You're pointing an AK-47 in my face!

2 things: 1. I don't know what a AK-47 even is, though it sounds like it's some kind of gun. 2. I am 50 miles away from you, it's another monkey who has a similar appearance (not quite a doppleganger, he is a few shades closer to black than me, and has a tail that is slightly longer than mine). I will come over and stop him as fast as I can, though!

You disguised as me before robbing every bank in my village, which was framing me! Now everybody in my village think I'm a thief and are trying to get me arrested!

Can I help it if I was trying on my monkey costume and just happened to look like you, while I *ahem* just happened to be robbing some banks?

You ate all of my birthday cake!

Oh, haha, you wanted some too? I thought maybe you didn't like it or something..

You over-boiled my instant Ramen, so now it's gross, and sticky like glue.

Well, yeah. You said you needed some glue, right?

Okay, how did my room get filled with scented candles?

Um, would you believe they grew out of the ground?

You deleted my fan fiction!

Narnia x Twilight crossover fic? You can do better than that.

You removed the seat from my bike and replaced it with a stalk of broccoli!

I know; it's brilliant, right? You can eat healthy and exercise health at the same time! It's the ultimate snack carrier right there, mate.

You broke my leg by pushing me off a balcony!

I pushed you off of the balcony you were on because someone was aiming a gun at your heart, and he looked like he was about to fire, and I couldn't find any other way to get you out of the way in time. I saved you!

You sent in hoards of enemies towards my village! I'm not sure if I can build up enough defense to stop them, even if all of the villagers help defend with their own weapons!